Women

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For a long time I have not felt belonging to either the Pro Choice or Pro Life groups and recently came across ProGrace which sets politics aside to focus on aiding the woman and meeting her needs directly both during and after her pregnancy regardless as to how she decides to proceed. This got my attention and I have since taken their training course, listened to their podcast and started some of their recommended reading to further my understanding.

In full disclosure I am a white christian male in the southeastern USA who has experienced two unplanned pregnancies myself and after learning of how terribly the church has handled their support of women, especially around unplanned pregnancy, I am looking to work with my wife to educate those within our sphere of influence to address this.

However, as mentioned above, I am a male and so naturally my experience around the issue simply does not compare to the depth of emotion and trauma that a woman would experience and so I am hoping to learn from those here who are or have experienced an unplanned pregnancy to better understand what support is needed to bring women through the traumas associated, overcome the fear and shame around the issue, and just generally help in any way I can.

I know this is a sensitive topic and so I would not ask for sharing directly in the comments here. Rather I am hoping to chat directly whether via Signal, email, etc. or even a quick call for those comfortable with that (can use Jitsi, Signal or another private voice chat to avoid needing to share any personal details). I would like to simply listen to your experience; I will not debate, judge, etc. as my goal is entirely to learn.

Thank you for taking the time to read and consider.

I wrote a poem over the last few days to work out my feelings about Mother's Day and my mother. I have nowhere else to share it, so I'm plopping it here, below. I think writing this was helpful for me, maybe? Not sure how I feel about the final work, but the process was actually pretty cool for working through my feelings, clipping them down. Does anyone else write for therapy, poems or anything else?

Perhaps this will resonate with some of you who have settled into similar relationships with your mothers to the one I have with mine. Anyway, here goes (dropping as an image because formatting is impossible):

Take care of yourselves today. It's tricky, being a woman with a complicated mother relationship. It's okay to feel however we do. I hope despite everything that's ever happened, that right now you have true, deep love in your life. With someone else, for others, for yourself...just some true, deep, unshakable love. You are worthy of that, just the way you are. <3