Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/minkingblitch on 2024-04-10 08:30:43.

This year was a game-changer for my streaming career. My Kick and Twitch channels blew up - views, subs, donations, and even a few sponsorships came rolling in. Finally, all those hours in front of the camera were paying off, and I dove headfirst into enjoying the perks. Upgraded my entire streaming setup, splurged on some luxury items I’d been eyeing forever, and even treated myself to a few spontaneous trips. Life was good, and I was spending like the budgeting concept was a myth. After all for the first time in my life I was making over 200k a year!

Queue the dramatic pause for when this tax season approached. Confidently, I walked into my accountant’s office, ready to hear how well I’d done. But instead of praise, I got hit with a reality check in the form of a massive tax bill. Apparently, I had been too caught up in the streamer lifestyle to remember that income means income tax.

The number was staggering. In my spending spree, I hadn't set aside nearly enough to cover it. Panic set in. My savings account, which I had proudly grown over the year, was wiped out in an instant. I found myself listing my once "essential" luxury buys online, hoping to recoup some of the money.

In hindsight, the signs were all there. I had heard of others falling into this trap but somehow thought I’d be the exception. The irony? I'd even streamed about the importance of financial wisdom.

The takeaway from my tale is painfully clear: no matter how good things look, always plan for the basics, like taxes. Don't let the excitement of sudden success cloud your judgment. I’m now on a strict budget, slowly rebuilding my savings, and I’ve got a tax savings account that I contribute to religiously.... learn from my mistake

TLDR made a lot of money streaming and then forgot I needed to pay taxes

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/poggod on 2024-04-10 05:11:31.

Earlier today I smoked a little too much weed and was half freaking out. I needed something to mindlessly focus on and it was our first 70 degree day of the year so I said fuck it, imma mow the lawn.

Now, I have a push mower but the self propulsion doesn’t work anymore, so you have to push the thing the whole time. It’s heavy asf and actually a damn good workout. I also have noise canceling headphones I wear while I mow, that at full volume almost completely drone out the noise of the mower.

So I throw some Hans Zimmer on at full blast and start mowing. About 2 mins in my dog dropped his ball in my path, and I had to stop mowing to throw it for him. When I got back to the mower I just grabbed the handles and started mowing again. Here’s where the problem starts, I let go of the mowers handles (which makes it turn off) and then just grabbed the handles again and started pushing.

My dumb ass pushed a heavy lawn mower around the yard for 40 minutes before I realized it wasn’t actually cutting grass. I was in such a bliss enjoying nature and Hans Zimmers genius that it didn’t click until I got to the last section of my yard, which is down a little drainage ditch where the grass is noticeably longer that it clicked. I can’t imagine what my neighbors though as they walked past a kid pushing a non running lawn mower around his yard

Tl;DR: I got super high and started mowing my lawn to calm myself down. My noise canceling headphones were too loud, I forgot to turn the mower on, and I pushed a non running mower around the lawn for 40 mins before I realized it was off.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/multiocumshooter on 2024-04-10 03:47:02.

Not today but a couple days ago, only found out today.

The other day I was doing some work on company equipment. I was doing a job that I’ve never done before in my life, a king pin for the steering axle, to those of you who know the industry.

Since I was new to this I decided to consult the service manual and one of my co-workers. At one point, I needed to remove a part called the “key”. There was only one I had to remove, or so I thought…… my coworker told me that there were actually two and I needed to remove them both. I looked around and could only see one, not two. I decided to look it up in the manual and there it was, two were needed. I was really confused since I only saw one. I decided to call this coworker over to show me the second one. He looked for a couper seconds and couldn’t show me but he told me that it’s there I just got to keep looking. I looked some more and eventually came to the (very dumb) thought that there must only be one. My thinking at the time was, the service manual has been wrong before, telling me on specification when it’s the other, and if the guy helping me couldn’t tell me right away where it was, then he may have been confusing the type of equipment I was working on with another one.

So then, long story short , I was pressing out the part I was removing, the king pin, and bam came out. What I didn’t know at the time was the force that the press was using was way too much do what it should’ve been normally( gee I wonder why?). Well I left a nice scratch where the pin sits, and now the company has to buy a whole new axle to fix my FU. A little over $10k.

Where I work isn’t too bad, I probably won’t get punished other than a warning, but I’m now the laughing stock of my department. I guess next time, if someone who knows more than me tells you something, I should probably listen to them.

TL;DR: didn’t listen to my coworker and now I’ve damaged company equipment to the tune of $10k

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/1bobbylane on 2024-04-10 03:05:11.

In line to get take out at a Japanese restaurant tonight and I remembered being here during peak Covid. Masks, take out only, etc

I was in line, 6 feet of separation. A guy approached me, asked if I could help him get some food. I had just been to the ATM and had fresh $20's. I was feeling generous and decided to give him $20. Opened my wallet, grabbed a bill and handed it to him without looking and said I hope this helps. He looks down, his eyes get big as he looks at me again and says thank you. Looked over his shoulder once walking away. I thought I must have really made his day.

A couple minutes later, I had a sick feeling when I remembered earlier in the day I sold something on Marketplace and they paid with a $50 bill. Checked the wallet and sure as shit, I gave him $50.

TLDR: accidentally gave a $50 instead of a $20 to a panhandler.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Leather-Challenge-85 on 2024-04-10 02:32:48.

I'm on a trip with my boyfriend's family; he and I are both in our 20s. We are staying in our own room at the hotel, which is two floors above where his parents and brother are staying, so any type of plan-making for the day is through phone calls.

My bf and I were in our room when he got one of those calls. He answered it, and by the voice of the caller, I assumed it was his brother, who's 4 years younger, but we still get along pretty well, especially with jokes.

So I lean into the phone, and I whisper, "Baaaaaaaaaaaallssssss."

It turns out my boyfriend's dad has a voice that sounds just like my boyfriend's brother, so when my boyfriend hung up, he cleared that out for me. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

TL;DR: I whispered "balls" into a call with my boyfriend´s dad.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ManicPixieDreamPearl on 2024-04-10 01:17:14.

TIFU by not knowing what my grandma looked like.

A few weeks ago, I fell down an ancestry.com rabbit hole. It led me to a picture of my (long-gone) paternal grandmother, probably from when she was in her 30's or 40's. I was thrilled. My dad doesn't have any good pictures of her, and I only vaguely remember her as a weak old lady with a frizzy halo of hair. My dad always told me that she looked a bit like Lucille Ball in her prime. I looked at the picture of this redhead with a sassy smile and decided he was right. She looked a lot like my aunt, and even a little bit like me. I saved the picture in my phone and tried to think of when to surprise my dad with it. Maybe I'd have it framed as a Father's Day gift.

We found out a few weeks ago that he needed to have surgery. He and my stepmom kept us all updated in the family group chat throughout the day as he checked into the hospital, then had the surgery, then was finally discharged. Everything went well. I decided this was as good a time as any to show him the pic. I sent it to the group chat with the caption, "Check out this pic of grandma! She was looking out for you ;)"

And then my dad responded with three words that absolutely floored me:

"Not my mother"

I looked at the picture again. But she LOOKED like she could be my grandmother! "That's not grandma?" I responded as the chat became flooded with laughing emojis from the rest of my relatives.

"Never seen that woman before."

So I don't know who that woman actually IS. I guess it could be a same-name (my grandma had a fairly common old-lady first name and a moderately common last name. Think something along the lines of Alice Rodgers), but I'm both disappointed that it wasn't her and relieved that I didn't pay to get it framed. My husband gently pointed out that a lot of people who settled in our part of the USA from Germany/NW Europe kind of look alike. I guess I wanted it to be my grandma so badly that I convinced myself she looked like family. I sure did make an ass out of myself in the family group chat, though.

TL:DR: Surprised my dad after his surgery with a picture of his late mother. The lady in the picture was not his mother.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/austreed1128 on 2024-04-09 17:20:49.

TIFU and I never thought I would make the mistake I made, but alas... I need the Reddit community to advise what, if anything, I can do to rectify the silly thing I did.

So, my partner and I were heading to Bloomington, IN for a show and were going to stay the night at a hotel so we didn't have to drive back home Saturday evening afterward. I took the lead and booked us a hotel via Priceline in Bloomington. All is well.

I got several emails from Priceline about my itinerary, but I was confident that we wouldn't need to make any adjustments, so I just ignored them and prepared for our trip.

We arrived in Bloomington, ate dinner, and then I pulled up the latest email to get directions to the hotel. To my shock and horror, I had booked us a night in...

****Bloomington, IL****

At this point, I was unable to cancel, and we had to scramble and figure out a backup plan.

My question is: I know I made the mistake and am at fault for not double/triple checking the reservation, but as an honest mistake, is there any chance I can get a refund or credit from Priceline or the hotel itself? Has anyone else accidentally done this?

I am feeling really guilty for the mistake and could use some reassurance/optimism from anyone out there!

TL;DR - booked a hotel in Bloomington, IL not Bloomington, IN and feeling stupid looking for any possible recourse.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/popsx3 on 2024-04-09 15:59:11.

The wife and I sold a couple of spare vehicles, stashed the money in a separate bank that we use solely for our mortgage and a few auto pay bills. We’ve been debating for months about our camper. Do we sell it and get a new one, or keep in and upgrade a few things. This conversation went on far longer than it should have. We decided to keep it so consequently we need to purchase a new truck. Well this decision produced more options, new or used, half ton or 3/4 ton? We loosely decided on a plan, pay off her car, wait a month or so and purchase a 3/4 ton used truck. Which leads to my fuck up. I log in to my auto financial account to verify the payoff amount, log in to my secondary bank account to transfer money to that checking account. Log back to my auto financial and schedule the payment. Perfect payment is pending. This morning on my into work I swing by the gas station for my daily energy drink and breakfast burrito, much to my surprise my Apple pay transaction is declined, twice! Huh, that’s weird, there’s money in the account. I log into my primary bank account ( this is our everyday, paychecks deposited into bank account.) and to my udder horror I see an $18k deficit! I used the wrong account when scheduling the car payoff!

TL;DR Paid wife’s car off with wrong account, breakfast burrito purchase declined due to $18k deficit!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Affectionate-Hawk-38 on 2024-04-09 15:23:50.

Welp, I fucked up today.... So my little sister, Got shot by her boyfriend in October, Shes now paralyzed from where she describes, as the top of her nipples, as in she cant feel anything from her nipples down. Anyways, My fiancée and I recently helped her get a custom electric wheelchair (Its got cup holders 😉 Damn cupholders costed nearly 700 bucks alone) and I personally go to her physical therapy wit her every Tuesday. The Physio is at a very nice hospital at next city over. On the hospital grounds, Is a very nice garden/park that has a very nice walking trail. My sister and I were going down the trail chatting,

Suddenly, we came across a big ass puddle.

She was like Huh, I don't wanna splash water everywhere on myself and my chair, So ill go slightly onto the grass..... She goes onto the grass to avoid the puddle, and her almost 600 pound wheelchair, plus her 200 pounds, Instantly sink into the mud. I ended up having to go back into the hospital to get assistance from nurses to help get her our. In the processes of trying to get her out of the mud, I got covered in mud...

Now, I'm used to being called a moron(Admittedly, I kind am lmao) … But this really just goes to say why, everyone calls me their lovable moron. So I, Covered in mud, Ask a nurse where the nearest bathroom is, She points down the hall. Me being covered in mud and just wanting to clean up, Ran into the nearest bathroom, Needing to clean myself I Threw my pants and shoes into the sink, and started to look around the bathroom. Mumbling to myself, while in my underwear. " Huh, There's no urinals in this bathroom? Weird, My country really is becoming inclusive to the point that they are making bathrooms gender-neutral, How cool!"

Standing there in my underwear, a FEMALE NURSE walked in. She looked at me with the most confused look ever being like why the hell is this creep in here., as i looked at her going "wtf this is uncomfortable, I'm literally standing here in my underwear as this female nurse walked in.... I smiled and nodded at her being like eh, whatever, Times are changing, I mean they replaced all the urinals with stalls to make it more inclusive. Makes sense to me, and we've been super accepting of it the trans community culturally wise. (at least I am and that was part of the problem here xD) So i was like whatever as they entered a stall.... I then put my wet pants and shoes back on, and exited the bathroom. As i was leaving, I looked at the sign on the door. It had a lady on it. I had just stood there in my underwear, In the middle of the female bathroom, looking at a woman who walked in being like why the you in my bathroom, as she looked at me in confusion When I was in the wrong bathroom. FML

I have to say though, The fact that she didn't say anything to me at all, Just smiled and nodded, was kind of weird.

TL;DR

Sorry this is my first post, Im not really sure how to make it, I've been watching r/Slash's videos on youtube, and i was like huh, this might be fun for people to read, So i hope you like it.

Basically to summarize, I went on a walk with my sister after her physio, Got covered in mud, Stripped into my underwear in the female bathroom, had a female come look at me uncomfortably, as i looked at her as if she was in the wrong.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/youbenchbro on 2024-04-09 15:05:15.

Cafe Bustelo is my backup coffee. It's cheap. It's fine. When I bought it I thought nothing that it was in a glass container instead of those vacuum sealed bags it normally comes in. Anyway, the packaging is mostly in Spanish (which I don't speak). So I opened the new container and poured the usual amount I would for grounds into a filter and started my coffee maker. What resulted was the STRONGEST coffee I have ever tasted. I had three sips and decided to pour it out. I looked into the coffee maker and saw that the instant coffee had gone completely through the filter and it was empty. I examined the glass container and saw that it said Espresso Instantaneo. It's supposed to be one tablespoon for 6oz of water.

TLDR: I put instant coffee into a drip maker because I didn't notice or know the word Instantaneo.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ashamed_Case_5704 on 2024-04-09 04:33:37.

I’m sitting in my car after my classes ended and my friend (F)from our track team pulls up next to me and we start talking about the eclipse today, my car is black and it was a sunny day so it was super hot in there so I had the windows down talking to her when she told me I should get into her car because it’s already cold. I proceeded to say it’s ok because my car was already cooling down, she then suggested I get in anyways and take off my clothes to really cool down in a really flirtatious tone and was sizing me up. In the midst of this interaction I decided to reply to that clear suggestion with a carefully crafted “Erm what the sigma?” And the conversation then proceeded to immediately go dead silent and we just kind of stared at each other for a few minutes before I just said my AC was finally working and I needed to head home. Turns out as I learned later that day from one of my friends she has a huge crush on me. Am I cooked? TL;DR: Friend(F) was suggesting we have fun in her car and I quoted a tiktok audio in response.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TLK9419 on 2024-04-09 02:50:50.

I'm kind of stupid. For some background, I'm probably one of the least skincare-savvy people ever. At the beginning of the year I bought a package of dermaplaners after my much more skincare-conscious ex-roomate introduced me to them. If you don't know, a dermaplaner is basically a super thin blade on a stick used for gently removing dead skin cells and hair, but the way it's used is much more abrasive than a regular razor. I hadn't used any of them for months, but I randomly found them in the back of my drawer the other day and decided it would be a good idea to try dermaplaning my nose and remove the blackheads and anything that pore strips never seemed to work on.

So, I confidently started scraping away at one side of my nose, really enjoying the satisfying experience of all the natural oils on my nose being scraped away. That's when I noticed that my pores started to turn red and even bleed a little. But I figured it was natural for them to get irritated and figured it would stop pretty soon. Then I moved on to scraping off the other side of my nose.

Well, the bleeding did not stop, and all of my pores literally started dripping blood. I had to start squeezing my nose with a tissue and breathe out of my mouth to try to get the bleeding to stop, but it kept going for a good 30 minutes at least.

Turns out you're not supposed to dermaplane your nose! And I guess the oils that are there in your pores actually belong there. So now I have a nose full of scabs and red spots instead of the much nicer-looking blackheads that I used to hate. And to top it all off, washing my face has also stung every time since this ordeal.

TL;DR: Derma-planed my nose to get rid of blackheads, now instead of blackheads I have a ton of much more noticeable scabs.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Extra_Rate_8552 on 2024-04-09 00:05:00.

A few months ago I was in the youth psych ward due to depression. I met a girl who would always listen and be super nice to me but also tell me unsettling things like having abused animals in her childhood, being able to turn her empathy off, wanting to kill her parents and stuff like that. I was bored and suicidal, thrilled by this unique friendship and thinking nothing of it since we were locked in anyway.

However, soon after my release she successfully contested her court order and was discharged against medical advice. We continued to text after that. I realised I was the only person she could confide in and felt bad for her. She would tell me about how bad she was doing and about her suicidal thoughts. Until one day, she sent a voicemail telling me she was planning a whole rampage to kill all the people that had wronged her.

Alarmed, I went to the police who, after questioning me, paid her a visit. They called me and said they didn't think she was a danger at all and was probably just angry when saying that. Naturally she concluded that it was me who had betrayed her but I tried my best to convince her it had probably been my parents who had checked my phone and reported it and she at least pretended to believe me.

Fast forward to today, I suddenly noticed a photo she had sent without any context. When I clicked on it, my jaw dropped. It showed her, posing with bloody hands and face, a lighter in her hand and a burning stove in the background. I concluded the worst and went to the police asap. After further questioning, they told me they had already known about it and that she had caused a decent fire in an apartment block and smashed some windows after a fight with her parents . Fortunately, no one besides her was hurt. They thanked me for providing them with further proof and told me she would probably go back to the psych ward.

When I left the interview room, I honestly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her, sitting in the hallway, looking at the floor. Our gaze met and I think we were equally shocked before I quickly walked away.

I feel like I'm in deep trouble. Eventually, she will be released again and there's no denying now that snitched on her. I have no trust in the judicial system's judgement anymore. The policemen told me she might be a danger to me but she'll be locked up for a while now and if the smallest thing happens I can just call 911.

This is your sign to not stay in touch with the suspect psych ward friend because that story might not end well. But I hope mine does.

TL;DR: My friend that I met in the psych ward started a house fire and sent me a photo of it. She saw me at the police station after testifying and now I'm scared of what will happen.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/HauntingArtichoke830 on 2024-04-08 00:54:03.

I was having a mental breakdown earlier this week so I ended up calling in sick from work Wednesday and thursday in order to reset, then came into work Friday telling my boss I was starting to feel little better.

I know (or at least I’m pretty sure) mental health like a breakdown is covered under “sick day” according to my state law but didnt feel like explaining what I was going through to my boss so just told them I had the flu and described symptoms like coughing, throwing up, headaches, and fatigue.

Then I woke up this morning and actually feeling sick, with severe migrain, coughing fits, and vomiting (which by pure karma was the exact symptoms I fabricated to take the sick days earlier in the week). So now I gotta either go to work tomorrow and try to power through or tell my boss I was starting to feel better Friday but symptoms came back over the weekend

TL;DR told my boss I was sick to take time off from work. Became sick over the weekend with the exact same symptoms I faked

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AnonymousNeverKnown on 2024-04-08 19:46:41.

my dog has been out for the past 3 days every time I try to catch her she runs in the opposite direction she's very hard to catch. She even got into the neighbors backyard the other day and I had to go in there to catch her. I read a post on Reddit that says that if you should pretend to be hurt till or your dog back to you so I did that laying on the sidewalk while she ran in the opposite direction I didn't know that two of my neighbors were outside and heard me one of them tried to walk towards me to help me up thinking I was actually hurt I had to tell him that I was only pretending to my dog back home. So not only did I make a complete fool of myself I also trespassed today. So yeah..

TLDR: I faked being hurt to try and get my dog back but my neighbor thought I was actually hurt.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sinimeg on 2024-04-08 04:46:45.

It didn’t happen today, but it was today when I received the text saying to not come back.

So, on Thursday I was volunteering at a cat rescue, I started doing it at the end of January and was going once a week unless I had something else to do that prevented me from going. So, I arrive and shortly after they ask me to disinfect some stuff with a specific product that I only have used twice in two separated occasions and like, with a month of difference, so I wasn’t sure how to apply it. The worker explained it to me, and the process is vastly different from what I remember, but I thought that I got it. Apply the product, put them in clean water and wait 30 mins, perfect. Welp, I was wrong, apparently I misunderstood the instructions and what I had to do is apply the product, wait 30 mins and rinse it with water. My bad. I’m reprimanded, but after that I do what they told me and go on with other tasks

Then, later they send me to the floor below the main room, where there are some cats being taught how to socialize. There’s another volunteer and we have to clean the litter boxes, sweep the floor, mop the floor, put more water on the water fountains and food on the bowls. While she does the litter boxes I put more water and food. We clear up the floor to start sweeping and moping, and soon after sweeping she goes to do other stuff and I’m left alone doing the rest. I put back on the floor everything that I see, that are mostly the toys since we don’t move everything for the afternoon cleanings, it being more light cleaning in contrast of the deep cleanings of the Mondays. And I forget the food bowls. Because I don’t see them where we leave the toys, and since I don’t usually move the bowls I didn’t think about that she might have done it. I didn’t checked, I assumed that they would be on the floor like always, even tho it didn’t register in my brain that I didn’t see them when I was moping the floor.

The poor cats were left without food till next morning. From 8pm till 9am.

And this afternoon I got a text saying that the cats were left without food that night, and it was only then that I remembered not seeing the bowls on the floor when I left, and also saying that apparently I didn’t disinfect the things that I had to disinfect right the second time either. And then I was kicked out, with the end of the text reading “we don’t need your services anymore”. And I feel fucking awful.

For the record, it was the first time that I messed up, and I feel that they could have been more lenient since it was my first offense in the two months that I was there. And because I feel that they didn’t explain how to disinfect properly since I don’t know why I fucked up the second time. But maybe that’s my childish part and my heartbreak, because I was starting to feel at ease and like I belonged there when I never felt that way before. I don’t know. I’m very sad, a bit angry and I feel like the most useless and worst person in the world. I’m torn between begging for a second opportunity and not showing my face to the outside world ever again.

And I don’t know how to tell my family because they’re already disappointed in me since I’m not what they expected and wanted me to be. And they were saying thins like how it’s obvious how much I liked volunteering at that place and how it was clear that it made me happy. They were very pleased and now I will disappoint them again on top of all that. I guess that that’s another fuck up. I’m collecting them as if they’re Pokemons, gotta catch ‘em all.

TL;DR: I was kicked out from being a volunteer in a cat shelter for forgetting to leave food for the cats one night and not disinfecting some stuff the right way.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/throwawayh863 on 2024-04-08 04:13:08.

Yikyak, at least where I am, is an app that allows people in my college to post anonymously. I would literally tell this to anyone so it’s not the anonymity of the app but the fact that I’m in a group for my college is the reason I posted it there. Yesterday I was scrolling through my dating apps and I matched with a couple of guys that I could actually see myself talking to. However, I am vehemently childfree and all the guys liked me or that matched with me wanted children. Nothing is wrong with that, but every time I meet someone that wants kids I don’t continue with that person because I don’t think it’s fair to neither me or the person I’m seeing to go out any further if we want different things. This has happened to me a lot where I’m at and it annoying. I’ve literally had people tell me that they can change my mind, that they wouldn’t leave (one of my fears but I don’t bring that up), and that I am not a woman for not wanting kids. So, I ranted thinking people would understand or at least could relate to the struggle of trying to date while being child free. Boy was I wrong. First, I was told that I was just confused and they got that people don’t want kids now but in the future they would. I understood that, but that’s not the case for me and I explained that. Then she proceeded to call me a lesbian, because in her experience women that don’t want kids turn out to be a lesbian. I am not a lesbian, but this shocked me. The decision to be childfree is one from person to person and has nothing to do with your sexuality. The more I think about it the more it makes me wonder if this is what people actually think of lesbians. Because if that’s the case boy do I have news for you; there are lesbians that do want kids.

(PS I am not offended that I was called a lesbian I was more so shocked that this was even a consideration in the topic I was talking about)

TL;DR: I ranted on an app about being childfree in the dating scene, and got told I would turn out to be a lesbian.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Alc2005 on 2024-04-07 20:28:06.

So I had to leave town for a work trip, and opted for an AirBNB because it was cheaper and closer to the job site than any hotel. It was a very cute room in a large apartment I shared with the host, and I mostly kept to my room while I wasn’t working.

Here’s the FU. I brought my PS5 with me and I’ve recently gotten into Death Stranding. Now, not wanting to make any noise with the paper thin walls, I played with the headphones on. Now… for most of this game you travel with an infant who is carried on your suit in an incubation chamber. This infant cries constantly, whenever you fall or get hit. BUT how I had it set up on the PS5 the sound of the crying comes through the speakers on the controller, not the headphones. So for the ENTIRE stay my host heard super fucking creepy cries from my room for hours at a time.

TLDR: played Death Stranding at an AirBNB and the only sounds the Host heard were the crying noises coming from my controller.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Willowed_Ghost on 2024-04-08 02:44:16.

Its really stupid title. I think its just a funny story, and I hate seeing my account so empty, so I'm writing something minor today.

Today I fucked up by eating a mango. Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) don't have a lot of time to spend together. We often have most of our sweet moments by a creek in between our school and my house. He preforms jazz, and before a concert or rehearsal, we have a small little "Good luck" snack with each other. My boyfriend brought mangos and a candy he enjoys called "mazapan de la rosa". I forgot to bring napkins, and I'm very picky about sticky hands, and while he's eating the food I brought for him, I'm struggling like a damn feral animal eating an elk's heart trying to skin this damn thing. He laughed, and he gave a gentile idea to eat the skin, and how the fiber is good for me, and growing up that's how he always ate it. It was about my 3rd time ever having a mango, and I knew mango skin had the same oil as poison ivy. A plant I'm severely allergic too. so I believed his word, and ate it with the skin. I mainly did it because I didn't want to look stupid. Or to not get my hands sticky and dirty when we had to pack up soon. I thought I'd just get a sore throat or something along the lines of that.

2 hours pass, I've walked him to the concert hall where he's preforming. I sit down in the seats, waiting for it to begin, when I feel my mouth go numb. I panic a little, but still ignored it cause I didn't want him to see me run out of the room as soon as he started playing. My head starts throbbing, time feels slow and every sharp noise becomes agonizing as I get more nauseous. I still don't want him to see me leave, so I don't, and I keep my nausea as minimal as possible, until the show is over, and his parents drive me home because of the night.

When I went upstairs and heave to the toilet, mouth numb and foaming, I try to sleep for the night after throwing up, and sleep easily, until the semi-middle of the night. 4 AM, I feel a burning pain in my mouth, lips, gums, nose, and inside my tonsils and soft palette. I go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, poison ivy.

inside my nose was a nightmare, and as I'm writing this its starting to heal up. But it was so painful not being able to open my mouth cause the blisters. I'm unsure if it got any deeper, but my chest is still in pain at the moment (1 week after incident) and I'll go to a clinic if it shows anything more than allergies. I am aware I'm not having a true or severe allergic reaction, I've been told by doctors that I'm more sensitive to poison ivy than most people, because of how often I've been infected as a kid. That may just be BS simplification though.

TL:DR: I ate a mango, mango has the same oil as poison ivy, blisters all over mouth.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Small_Desk_4344 on 2024-04-07 20:10:12.

TIFU - Important detail to the story I work as a eBay seller for a sport card company.

So my friend group LOVES to take “gambles” if we see a box of cards we open them. I have two friends who in a whim decided to go an hour and a half to a video game/ movie convention.

I get a call at 6pm asking if I can would go in on a 1000$ can’t miss mystery box. I instantly show hesitation, but ITS A MYSTERY BOX!

I ask what’s inside and they say the vendor said 2000$ in value. Most items are autographed from creators and there is a chance to win a brand new console! Okay I’m sold!

I send my friend the 333$ for my share of the box and eagerly wait for them to come back so we can dig in. They finally get to my house around 10PM and we start to dig in…..

Not only are there ZERO autographs but it is a box of JUNK! I mean this vendor through everything he couldn’t sell into a box with a question mark on it and sold it for 1000$!!!!!!

As we are digging we find random masks, chipped coffee mugs, random pins and figurines, but ZERO autographs. So we are nervously laughing as we get farther and farther into this box.

We finally get to the bottom and in total we have around 20-30 items all worth 5-10 dollars. My friends knowing what I do for work Insist I sell it to recoup as much money as we can. I say over and over no way but at the same time I knew they would never do it.

Now I am currently out 350$ and have a massive box of junk in my bedroom that I need to deal with. Only way to describe this. ABSOLUTE DISASTER!

“TL;DR:” I trusted my friends on an opportunity to make a flip selling gaming collectibles. I’m now stuck with a pile of junk and hours upon hours of work to scrap back maybe a 3rd of my “investment”

Okay let me have it. How dumb am I?

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/throw_spidey_away on 2024-04-07 19:08:34.

Four years ago my boyfriend, now husband(33m), and I(31f) were going to a costume party. He tried on his costume a week before, I zipped up the back and went out without realising there was no way he could reach to undo himself so he was stuck for over an hour until I got back 🙊

Post from way back then

Today... Our 6yo nephew is spiderman-obsessed and we remembered we still had that costume so my husband put it on to surprise him. Once again I zipped him, and he even reminded me I'd need to let him out after.

My sister came to our house with her kids and the plan was that I was going out with them today, leaving husband at home. You can see where this is going...

Nephew loved the surprise of meeting spiderman. I went outside to put some stuff in the car and husband sat down to await unzip after the kids were gone. Of course I forgot to go back in and we all left!

Two hours later I came home to find a very angry Spiderman sitting on the couch watching football. I made him promise to forgive me before I unzipped it 🤣

My nephew is very excited to see Spiderman again some time so I hope my husband trusts me to ever go in it again too 🤭

Tl;Dr I zipped up the back of a costume for my husband, then went out and left him trappedin it. I did the exact same thing 4 years ago.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PheonixGalaxy on 2024-04-07 06:19:58.

So my little bro 4 years old and im 16. My brother constantly calls me even if I'm in the same room and asking him what he wants and it's annoying but I still come. After he fought my cousin (8) because he was bored. after dealing with them fighting for several hours I am now trying to put him to sleep. I feel petty so I get close to his ear while he is watching family feud and whisper his first name several times in his ear he then says "Hey! Stop calling my name what do you want?" so naturally I start saying his middle name over and over. he then says "stop saying (middle name)!" so I start saying his last name, he then says "STOP CALLING ME (last name)" so I whisper his full name over and over in his ear. My sweet brother who is known for his short temper calmly sits up and when I say his name again the fucker throws his head into my face and busts my lip. I start screaming into my hands while my cousin asks if I'm ok.

I panicked thinking that he had broken my tooth so I ran to the mirror. I open my mouth and my top lip is busted and I start laughing HARD because I knew I deserved it. I told my cousin what happened and he's worried because he saw me trying and failing to cover my screams.

Before I take him to the bathroom I tell him he busted my lip and I show him, his eyes open wide and he says he's sorry and pats my chest. I called my mom who was on her way home from Vegas and she tried to scold him for hitting me and busting my lip but she heard me laughing in the background (to my credit I was holding my laugh but it slipped out when I was explaining it) and she got mad because I was making him think that was ok for hitting me. My aunt, Sister, and cousin found it funny.

Was I being a dick? yes. Do I deserve it? also yes. Did I apologize and did he forgive me? Yes. I am now trying to put him to bed The correct way

TLDR: I teased my little brother by whispering his first/middle/last and full name until he hit me, busting my lip in the calmest way possible. I laughed because I deserved it. Mom got mad thinking I was okay with being hit and not helping. I apologized to them and now trying to put him to bed properly.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TheDarkRev on 2024-04-07 18:26:00.

Today I fucked up by clicking into the wrong conversation..

Literally happened today, my wife was cooking (hands dirty) and asked me to open a conversation on WhatsApp for her (in full transparency there is no secrets or thoughts of cheating, our phones are completely open not that we have ever checked eachother been married for over 10 years no signs of anything untoward)

I typed in the name and opened the conversation but it was the wrong person but very similar names and seen a message from a few months back talking about my wife's best friend and how much he was in love with her Ect Ect... I was shocked, although I'm not especially close to her best friend I have always admired her, we got married around the same time, they have multiple kids and her husbands a genuinely nice guy who would do anything for them

How reading my wife's reply to this random guy declaring his love for a married woman peaked my interest, and did something I never done before I snooped her BF WhatsApp and was completely shocked by what I came across, her BF telling her all about there affair where they had sex about keeping it secret from her husband about all sorts that have really shocked me.. and on top of that really not happy with the replies my wife was sending back basically backing her up for the husband and seems like she is playing match making between the two of them (hence this random guys messages to my wife)

After that I left for work and since that (about 5 hours) I can't think straight, my wife knows my views on cheating (as i have been on the receiving end of it) and this has raised major red flags for me and my view of her and my wife has completely changed and I'm at a loss of what to do

TL;DR opened the wrong conversation on my wife's phone and uncovered an affair by my wife's best friend and looks like my wife not only supports her in her intentions but actively helping her in doing so

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/areyouproudma on 2024-04-07 15:23:13.

I'd like to preface this by saying yes, I am a dumbass and lessons have been learnt...

Anyway, I am currently travelling in Sri Lanka and there's a very famous train journey that goes from Nuwara Eliya to Ella. It's about 3 hours and passes by beautiful tea plantations and stunning mountain views.

As it's Sri Lanka, there aren't the same safety restrictions as in the west so the doors were open the entire journey which meant that people could sit in the doorways, lean out of them, ect ect.

It's quite a long journey so I bought 2 samosas from the guy walking up and down the train and ate them in my seat. As soon as I had finished them, we passed a particularly beautiful part of the journey so I wanted to get some pictures to remember the journey and to send to family. So, I asked the friend I had made to go to the other carriage, lean out the door, and take some pics of me leaning out the doorway of our carriage.

I got to the doorway, held onto the rails either side of the door, and leant out to get the pics. However, my hands were still greasy from the samosas as we had gotten up in a rush so we could get the beautiful background in the pictures. So instead of gracefully leaning out of the window for a photo op, my hands slipped off the rail and I fell out of the train, into the grass.

Luckily, the grass softened the fall and the train was going quite slow as it was a relatively curvy bend. This meant I had enough time to stand up and jump onto the doorway of a carriage further down, before I was abandoned in the middle of nowhere on a railway line.

All I suffered was a few cuts and a bruised ego but to make things worse, my friend was "too concerned" for my health to actually take pictures of it happening so I don't even have them to laugh at!

TL;DR - I leant out of a train doorway with greasy hands and ended up slipping and falling out of the train.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Icy_Desk272 on 2024-04-07 06:58:00.

I can’t stop kicking myself over this, so tell me if it’s really that bad.

3 months ago, I started working from home for a really small, very close, all-women company. I met with a group of women for a work event on Thursday (3 days ago) and spent most of the time chatting amongst ourselves.

While I was talking (excessively) because I was so excited to see other people I work with, the topic of sports came up and I mentioned that I played soccer seriously and never got rid of the really strong thick thighs, and the other women agreed.

The (gorgeous) young woman closest to my age made a comment along the lines, “Me too - oh well!! gotta live with them.”

I was trying so hard in my head to say something nice or funny, I accidentally combined too many choices and ended up spitting out, “well your husband doesn’t seem to mind!!”

Facepalm.

We were already packing up and fizzling out the conversation so I couldn’t really tell how bad my comment really was. She stepped out with everyone so I didn’t even get to see her reaction - I just know that was such an awful thing to say. I don’t believe in that sort of behavior - much less behave that way myself. I am mortified with myself. Disgusted!! I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m hoping that since that is not regular for me, she can brush off a one-time occurrence bad comment and probably won’t spend that much time worrying about it or letting it effect our long term relationship, but on the other hand, I would be so sick if I knew I hurt her with my words. I don’t even know if I should reach out at this point.

TL;DR:

Said to a coworker, “at least your husband doesn’t mind!” about her body