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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/chefpeepele on 2024-04-10 06:26:40.

I’m from a small town and Utah and of course this town is filled with Mormons. I really didn’t care for it and I knew they were off but until I got older and researched more and found out how shady this church is. I have a Mormon co worker who lets me ask questions about it and after how she made everything sound like it was normal I was in shock. I just wanna say I love seeing stories of people finally leaving that cult and love seeing their stories PLEASE KEEP GOING YOURE DOING AMAZING!!

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/georgepsully on 2024-04-10 05:20:48.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/ExUtMo on 2024-04-10 04:21:59.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/HansonsHandCock on 2024-04-10 05:33:53.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/BestWheel7068 on 2024-04-10 05:27:14.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/EmperorBulbax on 2024-04-10 03:50:02.

I’ve been out of the church for several years now, but I still get frustrated on a weekly (if not daily) basis by the many residual impacts it had on my life.

I don’t have the energy to go into details right now. I’m just mad that my mental development was shaped by manipulative falsehoods and dangerous doctrines.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/sandboxvet on 2024-04-10 04:33:45.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Bubbly-Occasion2628 on 2024-04-10 04:23:18.

I (23M) am honestly so ready to leave. If there was anything that watching general conference this weekend did for me is just reinforce the idea that I don’t want to be here. I was honestly let down with what the leaders chose to talk about, and it just shows where their priorities are. Nothing was said about the wars going on. Nothing about feeding the poor and helping the needy. No apologies for hiding their history, being dishonest in their finances, or mistreating marginalized groups. Nothing about personal improvement. Instead it was “keep your secret oaths, listen to your leaders, pay your tithing, and wear your sacred underwear”. Like really? These are the things that are on God’s mind right now? Sorry, I’m ranting a little bit

Anyways, I’m going to be talking to my TBM spouse (22F) about it in about 3 weeks. I just have to wait because she’s getting her degree in 2 weeks and I don’t want to add any more stress to her life. I’ve been going through my deconstruction for literally the past 2 YEARS, and I’m just finally ready to tell people. I can’t hide it anymore.

She’ll probably be upset, and honestly this might be the end of our marriage because her and her family are really devout, but I can’t do it anymore.

Wish me luck!

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/GrizzlyGal on 2024-04-10 04:11:56.

The grammar. The punctuation. The vocabulary. The sentence structures. It’s all very lovely. All of you fine folks are an impressive lot.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/dbear848 on 2024-04-10 03:07:58.

Maybe it's just me, but that makes me even more antagonist. I don't give a rat's ass about what Elder Head N Ass has to say about anything.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/kimmykiwi on 2024-04-10 01:59:47.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Far-Dot25 on 2024-04-10 02:56:56.

I’m not sure if this is the place to be saying this, but I don’t have many options left. I have been a missionary for just 3 days now and I am borderline suicidal. I just feel like I have no way out.I’ve been having doubts about my religion for a couple of years now and I’ve brought it up to my parents, and church leaders, and member friends but they all tell me the same things. Read the Book of Mormon and pray to ask if it’s true.

I have read the Book of Mormon multiple times. I’ve grown up in the church and I’ve just always felt weird about it.

For a while they said to get my patriarchal blessing, that it would give me direction. It didn’t. Then they said the temple would change my life. But it felt silly and culty, and unpolished. It just drove me further away. Then my parents told me that I just had an inquisitive soul and the answer was to turn my faith outward and serve a mission. So I got all the papers in, I held my tongue, and held out hope that when I was set apart and given all of the power granted to me as a missionary, then things would finally make sense. That I’d feel something.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect. But I have tried so hard to find meaning in the church’s teachings. I’ve always done difficult things for the sake of my beliefs. I sat through all of my bishop’s meetings about how I was a sinful child. I went to seminary at 5:30 am every morning. I even baptised my ex girlfriend who, might I add, cheated on me while on molly, because my bishop asked me to do it in order to forgive her.

I have done everything I’ve been told to do and it’s only ever brought me further away from the lord. It seems like every desperate prayer I had about Joseph smith or the Book of Mormon was just met with uncomfortable silence. I told my leaders this and they said that God would qualify me. And I really wanted him to.

But I’m so overwhelmed here. I already said my goodbyes, my parents are proud of me for once, and there are church members who are sending me money to help pay for the mission.

I feel horrible. I’ve gone on the pulpit and expressed the fact that I feel as though I’m drowning. That I’ve been asked to be a lifeguard when I don’t even know how to swim. People said it was inspired and genuine and real. That my uncertainty would make me a good missionary.

I broke up with my girlfriend for this. I dated her for two years. I broke up with her a month ago because I didn’t want to make her wait for me. It didn’t seem fair to her. Not when I don’t even have a good reason to go.

I thought I could just teach love and kindness and talk about Christs teachings on my mission. But I now realize after a couple of mtc classes that there’s not much freedom when teaching. And I don’t feel comfortable telling people that this church will give them answers or meaning, when I haven’t found that either.

I don’t hate my parents, or the church members, or even the church leaders. I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I just don’t believe it anymore. After all of these tests of faith, I would have assumed that I’d receive some kind of answer or validation. But I don’t think God wants me on a mission as much as the church does. At least not teaching these principles. I feel trapped here. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like I’m not in control of my own choices and if I try to leave my family will abandon me or worse, I turn out to be wrong and risk my salvation. I feel so stupid and confused. I’m sorry if I’m not very clear.

I don’t want to do this, I only wanted to do it in order to fulfill an obligation to god and my fellow man. But I’m not convinced that it helps either one. I want to go to college. I want to date while I’m young. I don’t want to start school at 21. Or be weird when I get back after being socially isolated. I feel like the consequences of a two year diversion are very understated. But when I told my parents they said it would get easier and that it was worth it. I’m just really really sad and confused. I feel like I have no agency. I have no money if I don’t go, no family, no options. And they’ve spend all this money on clothes and the mission itself. I’m unraveling here.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/AchingAmy on 2024-04-10 00:40:55.

So, as we are all probably aware, the temple names are Hebrew in origin, basically just taken out of the bible. Now, for context, I'm a transgender woman. So, since I hadn't accepted myself as a woman yet, they'd have given me a new name from the men's new name table and as far as I'm aware, the vast majority of those are definitely masculine names. Except mine wasn't. Mine was Asa. It's a gender neutral name in Hebrew meaning "doctor" or "healer", but it also has an origin in old Norse. There, it is strictly feminine and means (this part is even freakier, given what we know about temples) goddess. I know this is probably just coincidental but it's still something I look at as pretty neat. It gets even wilder when I found out the day I went to the temple was the last one where that name was given. The next year all through now it's no longer a name on their temple names' list

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Admirable_Package_47 on 2024-04-10 00:15:35.

Today I’m just in my feels. Some days I feel angry, other times I’m excited for my freedom. It’s a whole spectrum of emotion, but I think the grief is the hardest for me to carry. It’s weird to hate the church so much and also miss parts of it and feel that loss in my life. Today I saw the photos of the Taylorsville E temple interior and I thought it was SO BORING and UGLY! It made me want to look at the photos of the Provo City Center temple where I was married and it just made me sad. I still think it is such a beautiful building, but I realized that I’ll never go inside of it again. Never show my kids where I was married. I also realized that I hardly remembered the bride room or sealing room because the conveyor belt of weddings made it all so rushed and impersonal.

Not sure the point of posting this except that I know you all understand and i’m not alone in this wild ride that is leaving the LDS church

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/fadefail on 2024-04-10 00:33:45.

When you still believed in the LDS doctrine, were you aware on any level the depths of Joseph Smith’s cons and how much of a charlatan he was? And if you were how did you justify or compartmentalize that? Maybe it’s just because I’m interested in cults now, but it seems really difficult to not hear about all the bad (to put it mildly) things he did. By the way I grew up in Utah. So I have a number of Mormon friends but I feel awkward asking them a question like that.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/BananaLana02 on 2024-04-09 23:58:42.

I left the church as soon as I became an adult, but I lost my faith much earlier. That being said I had the classic Mormon upbringing: ctr rings, baptism, seminary, girls camp, church basketball, youth conference, trek, EFY, all the works…

Navigating life outside of the church especially as a young adult has been tricky. For one thing 90% of the people I grew up with are already married with kids and I’m only 22. That’s one thing I love about not being in the church is that I feel like I can relax and enjoy spending time with myself. I can be selfish and enjoy my youth -not having to worry about all of those responsibilities. That being said I definitely have some issues stemming from my lds life.

Growing up they separated guys and girls. Girls went to young women and boys to young men. Even at school I felt more comfortable around girls because at church (I was there seven times a week if you include seminary) I never had any interactions with the guys. I got asked out twice in school and both times my mom wouldn’t let me go because I wasn’t sixteen yet.

As an adult this made me super inexperienced when I first started dating, and now I’m super uncomfortable around men. I have no idea how to talk to them, and I just generally don’t like being around them.

Please don’t get me wrong! I love men! Just from a distance. The problem is entirely personal, and I work every day to overcome it a little more. Anyone else have troubles with the opposite sex in church or afterwards? Or is this just a me thing?

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/DrugsAndCoffee on 2024-04-10 00:26:24.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/3am_doorknob_turn on 2024-04-10 00:10:48.

Original Title: Mormon Sexual Abuse Case NEWS: South Jordan, Utah primary teacher arrested Mar. 29 and charged with five felony counts related to child sexual abuse. According to a probable cause affidavit, he "told law enforcement that he wants to sexually abuse children and that children are not safe around him."

• South Jordan man accused of trying to have sex with Logan girl who he believed was 9 years old - Cache Valley Daily
• FLOODLIT case report

On Mar. 29, an LDS church member in South Jordan, Utah was arrested at his home by police.

On April 1, he was charged with five felony counts related to child sexual abuse.

At the time of his arrest, he was a Primary teacher in the River 5th Ward of the South Jordan Utah River Stake, according to a person familiar with that ward.

We've obtained a copy of the police probable cause affidavit and it is extremely disturbing.

According to the PC affidavit, the accused "told law enforcement that he wants to sexually abuse children and that children are not safe around him."

Here is a screenshot of a portion of the affidavit:

excerpt from a police affidavit

If you have any information about him or this case, please comment below, DM us at u/3am_doorknob_turn or contact us.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Simple-Beginning-182 on 2024-04-10 00:00:49.

I was born the same month that the "priesthood ban" was lifted. So, I had heard about people of color not being allowed to have the priesthood. As a twelve year old boy , I was told to pass the sacrament and run around my neighborhood shaking down the old and inactive folks with my handful of blue envelopes for fast offerings. I would think not having to do any of that kind of sounded nice. I was 43 before I found out the "priesthood ban" meant no one of color was allowed in. No forever families, no Celestial Kingdom, but the Church still took that tithing. Anything that I taught the people on my mission was vital to their salvation, they couldn't have up until a few days before I was born because of their skin color. I think calling it a "priesthood ban" minimizes was people of color where actually told, that Mormon heaven was Whites Only and I believe its much easier for Apologetics to make the case for restricting "priesthood authority" then it is for a clearly discrimtory God. I am willing to bet if you call it a "Temple ban" to any TBMs you know more than half won't know what you are talking about.

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Cabo_Refugee on 2024-04-09 22:31:06.

That's 56 years from now. Currently, the church is at 17M in claimed membership. To reach 267M by the year 2080. They would need add, on average, of 4.46M million members per year. That doesn't even take into account for losses due to death. His calculations are based on the 30% growth rate the church had back in the 80s.......back in the baseball baptism days. I have no doubt, the same shit is going on in missions in Africa. I served my mission in an African nation. I can tell you, "It was 600 people on the branch roster........BRANCH.......with 30 people showing up. As a former boss once told me, related to success, "Don't confuse effort with results."

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Healthy-Rutabaga-232 on 2024-04-09 22:18:56.

Anyone else notice how many young Utah Mormon couples divorce after less than five years of marriage? It's honestly like clockwork in my circles now. I have the typical giant Utah Mormon family and extended family, and only two of those marriages are still intact. These kids (younger than 25) get right off their mission and marry ASAP and then divorce ASAP, too. And it's always so "hush hush." What is happening?? Anyone else seeing that trend?

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/RedGravetheDevil on 2024-04-09 20:47:03.

When Einstein gave lectures at U.S. universities, the question students asked him most was: Do you believe in God? And he always answered: I believe in the God of Spinoza.

Baruch de Spinoza was a Dutch philosopher considered one of the great rationalists of 17th century philosophy, along with Descartes.

According to Spinoza, God would say: “Stop praying. I want you to go out into the world and enjoy your life. I want you to sing, have fun and enjoy everything I've made for you.

“Stop going into those dark, cold temples that you built yourself and saying they are my house. My house is in the mountains, in the woods, rivers, lakes, beaches. That's where I live and there I express my love for you.

“Stop blaming me for your miserable life; I never told you there was anything wrong with you or that you were a sinner, or that your sexuality was a bad thing. Sex is a gift I have given you and with which you can express your love, your ecstasy, your joy. So don't blame me for everything that others made you believe.

“Stop reading alleged sacred scriptures that have nothing to do with me. If you can't read me in a sunrise, in a landscape, in the look of your friends, in your son's eyes—you will find me in no book!

“Stop asking me, ‘Will you tell me how to do my job?’ Stop being so scared of me. I do not judge you or criticize you, nor get angry or bothered. I am pure love.

“Stop asking for forgiveness, there's nothing to forgive. If I made you, I filled you with passions, limitations, pleasures, feelings, needs, inconsistencies, and best of all, free will. Why would I blame you if you respond to something I put in you? How could I punish you for being the way you are, if I'm the one who made you? Do you think I could create a place to burn all my children who behave badly for the rest of eternity? What kind of god would do that?

“Respect your peers, and don't give what you don't want for yourself. All I ask is that you pay attention in your life—alertness is your guide.

“My beloved, this life is not a test, not a step on the way, not a rehearsal, not a prelude to paradise. This life is the only thing here and now—and it is all you need.

“I have set you absolutely free, no prizes or punishments, no sins or virtues, no one carries a marker, no one keeps a record. You are absolutely free to create in your life. It’s you who creates heaven or hell.

“Live as if there is nothing beyond this life, as if this is your only chance to enjoy, to love, to exist. Then you will have enjoyed the opportunity I gave you. And if there is an afterlife, rest assured that I won't ask if you behaved right or wrong, I'll ask, ‘Did you like it? Did you have fun? What did you enjoy the most? What did you learn?’

“Stop believing in me; believing is assuming, guessing, imagining. I don't want you to believe in me, I want you to believe in you. I want you to feel me in you when you kiss your beloved, when you tuck in your little girl, when you caress your dog, when you bathe in the sea.

“Stop praising me. What kind of egomaniac God do you think I am? I'm bored with being praised. I'm tired of being thanked. Feeling grateful? Prove it by taking care of yourself, your health, your relationships, the world. Express your joy! That's the way to praise me.

“Stop complicating things and repeating as a parrot what you've been taught about me. Why do you need more miracles? So many explanations?

“The only thing for sure is that you are here, that you are alive, that this world is full of wonders.”

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Molly_Deconstructing on 2024-04-09 22:08:24.

I'm done. I've been done longer than I had realized. Looking back I can see how long I've been PIMO. My TBM husband ( RM, Eagle scout, Seminary graduate - the trifecta for a TBM young woman!!!) hasn't admitted to me or himself how PIMO he really is.

For years I've been leading any church activity - RS president, YW president, Primary presidency, YW camp director, Trek manager, temple attendance. Meals for anyone! Meals for everyone! Neglect my daughters to serve others? They'll be blessed!!. My husband has been in bishoprics, YM presidencies, Scout leader, Primary/sunday school teacher - all of those he's fulfilled at the bare minimum level.

I told him I was done, that I love him and our family. That i would attend church with him as long as he'd like, I'd even wear my garments if that's what he'd like. It's been a bit tense at times, but mostly not bad. I've picked the WoW apart and pointed out the absurdity of it and brought home wine. That bother him, he actually picks up my adult beverages for me. - small victory

I've stopped wearing garments to bed - he LOVES that - small victory

My garments come off as soon as I get home - He LOVES seeing me around the hou. I se in short shorts & tank tops - small victory (I'm shedding garments slowly - it's SO ingrained in my brain and it's been 28 years, I'm trying to find gentile underwear I like lol)

Sunday about 11am he said something about "after church" - I said there's not church today, he asks blankly 'why not' I replied it was GC, he asked 'why aren't we watching?' I told him I had no desire to listen to the 15 call me a lazy learner when it was scripture study and prayer that showed me TSCC wasn't true. He got quiet and then asked if I wanted to watch a movie - another small victory

Last night I did our taxes and found out he has been paying fast offerings (he doesn't fast lol) but has NOT been paying tithing! - another small victory.

I'm just going to keep on shedding mormonism, be grateful for the small victories and wait. He's PIMO and just hasn't admitted it.

The weightlessness I feel after so many years carrying all the burdens of mormon woman, knowing I'll never be enough is AMAZING

Thanks for listening, in the name unshackled exmos everywhere, Amen

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/slskipper on 2024-04-09 19:50:07.

Or did I miss something?

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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/jcmartin on 2024-04-09 21:00:50.

I stopped by my TBM parents’ house unannounced Sunday afternoon, I was in the neighborhood and hadn’t seen them in awhile. They had General Conference on the TV when I walked in. My mom seemed a bit conflicted but my stepdad said, we can watch this later. They chose to spend time with me instead. They will never leave the church, so I have to take these victories for Satan as they come!