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Without a family as in fully on your own since legal age, be it kicked out / had to leave at 18 or from a foster background, or from an orphanage.

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I wouldn't dare defile Douglas Adam's memory by not mentioning that you should keep a towel with you at all times, but my second contender is a surprisingly short three-parter:

  1. never lie.
  2. never tell the whole truth.
  3. never pass up a chance to use a real bathroom.
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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

To those from the Western hemisphere, it's always fascinating to hear that some homes and businesses from the times of the Greek philosophers still have inhabitants, and then you remember that the Western hemisphere is itself not without its own examples, for example some Mexican villages still have temples from the times of the Mayans.

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Planning to enhance my professional qualifications and want to get a Master's in Education as I'm currently working in the education field, and I was wondering if this is one of the best options out there.

Would appreciate any advice, thank you!

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

If your job was to come up with greater enshittification for society, what would you do?

My ideas:

  1. Rental apartments where every wall has a screen with ads 24/7. You can pay cheaper rent to live with ads in every wall or you can pay a monthly subscription to turn off the ads (you don't get to use the screens for anything else tho). After people get used to it we can start adding a little bit of ads even for the subscription users, just a little less.

  2. Movie theaters. This one is obvious, why did anyone think it was ok to give people access to uninterrupted movies just because they paid a couple bucks? We should include some ads in the middle of movies in the cinema duh.

  3. Water and electricity. Private utility providers should be able to require you to watch a certain amount of ads on their apps in order to deliver their services to you every month (you still also pay normally ofc).

  4. Alarm clocks. Smartphones should delete the option to pick a custom sound for alarm and instead wake you up with loud ads. Installing any custom alarm app should require root and we should lobby government to ban devices with alarm clocks which are not smart.

  5. Unified ad-watching score. Similar to credit score, you will gain points by not skipping ads, having the selfie camera turned on while watching an ad (to make sure you looking), having the microphone on to make sure it isn't muted, etc. Every platform contributes to your score. They can use your ad-watching score to give you benefits or punish you as they please.

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I dont know if this has been asked before or if this may be a little goofy of a question but I didn't see anything relating to it and I'm kinda curious what the culture of Lemmy is like and what sort of common things people see. ive been paying attention to interactions but nothing is as good as just asking everyone.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Please read post for full context and be kind with me. Any help/input will be appreciated!

We met on a dating app several months ago during a hectic time for me but I wanted to ease back into dating after a bad break-up. Witty banter right away with us via text. He was a breath of fresh air, direct and candid especially when it came to the most dark and traumatic topics. Something about the way he texted me made him stand out and made me feel something. However, I had qualms because as much as I find a "bad boy" thrilling, I can't say he's my go-to type. He has been through more than anyone should in an entire lifetime: divorce and drug addictions run in the family, absent biological dad and malicious step-dad, grieving many losses, PTSD, and he himself was an alcoholic who tried various hard drugs for some time (he says no longer the case). He had to care for his siblings and be the bread winner early on. It's not that I ever want to be judgmental or prejudiced, but I can't help feeling at least somewhat anxious and afraid of making another dating mistake, this time with a man who's already endured such complex pain. I am not sure if we are trauma-bonding, but I'm so scared if it is, as we've also already talked about my own parents' dynamic (not the "normal" happy relationship either) and losing friends who couldn't see the light.

With all this darkness, why do I feel so attracted? It's how he has dealt with all of the setbacks, and the way he's said things on his own accord that heal the most painful parts of my prior relationship with a narcissist. How he cared for his family, looked for his father, got past addiction. He consistently tells me the sweetest things and has already started calling me loving names whereas my ex refused to even months after becoming official, already asking me my birthday and wanting to make it special whereas my ex ignored me completely the day of my bday causing the breakup. He remembers the little things and is proactive with the big things - we've talked about our long distance, religion, politics, kids, hypothetical trips/travel. I've been love-bombed before, gaslighted, tricked, mocked, neglected. But I do not think he is love-bombing or desperate. He does double-text often and reply immediately each time, but does that necessarily label him "clingy" or that he just simply likes me? In the past, I wished my ex did that more.

I'm also drawn to his maturity. I wasn't ready for his all-in mentality when we first met, so I actually had to step back, and he was sad but respectful of my decision. I had no idea but he recently told me it took him weeks to get over me, but that he never completely did. He sent a one-word text a month ago before moving to another state hoping to update me or even maybe meet for the first time in person. I was overwhelmed by everything on my plate and recently responded; now we're texting nonstop and having calls for hours, letting it unfold naturally. He's already told me he's going exclusive with me and was sweet about me pulling away the first time. He said long distance may actually benefit us (I don't think he means opportunity to cheat, but more so because I'm also moving within my current state and will need to be extremely busy which he seems okay with) and that I'm the only person he would move back for. We've openly discussed my trust issues and his fear around marriage but that he truly wants to settle down/have kids. We're in the process of seeing when we can at least meet in person soon.

So taking all this in, I have questions for you all. Does he seem genuine in what he says and his intentions? Does he need too much self-work before entering a relationship? Is his past alarming or any red flags relating to his experiences? Are we trauma-bonding or am I overthinking/letting my own insecurities get in the way? How can we make long distance work when it's starting off this way and even if he moves, I'm apprehensive about balancing everything with my intense new career role? During long distance, I won't have much time to spare for visits until next year (but can meet up this summer) so should we keep it an open relationship or no label, even though that could bother me as I'd prefer exclusivity? Then again, we've both been searching for the right person and if not now, when? It may always feel like it's not a good time because it's always busy. Also, about trauma-bonding, aren't we all bonding over some sort of shared trauma or struggle in order to build a deeper connection

Edit: Do any of your answers change if his PTSD is from serving as a veteran, not family related abuse (as far as he knows)?

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So I’m a bit of a degenerate but making better choices lately and sort of getting things on track.

My friend had some health issues and had to stop working, my other friend now does all the labour, and he just runs the business.

He then split with his partner who he has children, as frankly he would never be at home and it was always going to happen.

I just found out the health condition has gotten worse and he will have to lose a leg. He never improved his diet, kept hitting the coke hard and gambling. So recently he has gambled away £35,000 and had a breakdown with another friend.

How do I even be there for him and keep him on a good path, providing he is open to change.

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Yes, this is in relation to the closing of Tango Gameworks and Arcane Austin. Is there some immediate monetary benefit behind it that I have no idea about? Is it so they can keep the IPs and not have to deal with the developers? Are the Studios too expensive for anyone to buy? I honestly don't understand how these executives play Capitalism.

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

My 27 yr old sibling is a hard core follower of Joe Rogan 💩

What are some progressive channels/people/content that I could have my sibling start watching instead?

Preferably something that has a similar flavor - example: male host, muscular, easy to digest. I think that will make the transition easier.

My personal preferences are Seth Meyers and John Oliver, but Last Week Tonight (John Oliver) is even a heavy watch for me sometimes!

[No Andrew Hubbard. He’s another fake.]

Thank you!

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Asking both questions here. Please don't be too political here, it's a timeless issue and that's the angle I'm asking from.

Especially in an age which no longer is lenient towards it (not that any era did; I'm sure the most ancient of knights did not wish to fall for it), it always surprises me how dogmatically people treat their intuition, as in there are people who will say "that's definitely a guy" or "that's definitely a girl" even though a trip down Google lane will show how easy it is to have "definitely a guy" vibes as a girl or "definitely a girl" vibes as a guy.

My voice over the phone is ambiguous and I was calling customer service for a sport company one day, and half-way through the call, they held their hand on the part of the phone they speak in (poorly, which is why I still heard them) to refer to the "ma'am" on the other side (me), and quick-thinking me imitated the old man from the demonic furby clip saying "I'm a sir", to everyone's laughter. I'm only humorous when it's adequate to get the message across.

I'm not often misgendered by my looks, the last time that happened I was in school wearing pink and a teacher thought I was a girl. And I think I've only misgendered someone once for the same reason.

I thought to ask this seeing people really hammer into people about what gender a friend of mine must be even though it's not the friend's gender. Like, take this picture of the friend for example, what gender comes to your mind looking at that (you can count that as a side question and a "second opinion" question to an earlier one)? What made you say this with certainty?

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This is a job at a casual dining establishment. My colleague is driving me nuts but there seems to be no recourse for it. UK btw

Let's call my colleague Sarah. Sarah is a salaried worker while most of the others are zero contract but she's technically not above us in any way, just acts like it. Here are some of the things she's done just recently:

-Left me by myself during the lunch rush while another colleague was on a break to manage FOH to go on a half hour smoke break. I was literally having to run from the pass to take out food to diners, back to the till, and making coffees at the same time, with a massive queue. She comes back for ten minutes then disappears somewhere again once the other colleague is back. Smoke breaks aren't a part of her contract

-Leaves 15-20 min early every day but reported me for arriving 5 minutes late

-Reported me for not saying good morning to her happily enough

-Eats off of customers plates BEFORE they go out

-Signs off on things she didn't actually do on the task sheet, but told others to do

She's very two faced, and gossips with everyone about everyone else. And is very friendly with the manager and constantly reporting back to them. Everyone is waiting for her to leave the entire shift since she only ever opens, yet she expects everything to always be perfect when she comes in when there's 10x more things to do on a close than when she opens as we are often busy until the very last minute

Honestly, she is making me dread coming into work, but the spot I'm stuck in at the moment for uni has very few students jobs and I desperately need the money. Is there anything I can do or am I just fucked?

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I understand why there are the ones where he didn't kill himself, but the cameras were destroyed, how come no one thought to think he just walked out? This has been bugging me since it happened.

I do think he's dead, but this would be a great conspiracy theory. Why hasn't anyone gone with it?

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

My pick is /c/albumartporn

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I'm getting close to the bottom of my backlog on a few podcasts, so I'm looking to get something new in there.

Personally, it's been, in no particular order:

  • If Books Could Kill
  • Darknet Diaries
  • Hard Fork
  • 99% Invisible
  • The War on Cars
  • The Urbanist Agenda
  • The Climate Denier's Playbook
  • Well There's Your Problem

I'm mildly considering getting into Behind the Bastards and It Could Happen Here, but I'm a little bit skeptical on account of how damn much there is to be listened to in their feed.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Please read post for full context; any help or input is appreciated! I disclosed sensitive info to a close female coworker (let's say Ann), who is best friends with the male coworker mentioned (Ned). I'm sure she told him, but then they both seemed to want me to still tell him directly. I did because I believe in doing the right thing, and Ann also was a huge help for something relating to my info, even though I strongly did not want this secret to spread. Ned kept it secret; however, I detest how he started feeling like he had the upper hand and could manipulate me like a puppet to do stupid intern shit for him like repeatedly printing files, including evenings and even attempted to reach me on the weekend by text. I ignored and replied from my work email the next Monday. I could see in his eyes that he had romantic thoughts about me which is largely what made all of this sickening. Ann also went behind my back to tell my private business to one of our other coworkers, who is extremely judgmental and tough on people, and even he did not exploit it - leading us to actually become much closer and respect each other.

What pissed me off the most was when Ned - and Ann - ganged up and tried coercing me into letting him drop me off at home on a Saturday night after I reluctantly made sacrifices in my schedule to meet with them two - choosing to ignore my multiple clear "NO" about the ride as I preferred public transportation. I was having a panic attack in his car while they just relentlessly and repeatedly egged me on, thinking they could break me. They finally let up after going back and forth, and I went home by public transpo.

Ned went to a different team so we didn't talk for months. I then updated everyone in a mass email about my leaving the overall group, and that's when he called. Again, he waited until evening - after work hours - to call me. I instantly feel disgusted as it took me back to that traumatic experience. Why can't he just get the hint and drop it? I did not reach out to him directly to update him, even though it is related to the original sensitive info, because I do not want to talk or encourage anything! I do not want to keep in touch with someone who completely disregarded my preferences and basically nearly kidnapped me. I have no interest in him platonically, romantically, or professionally. Should I call back, text, email from my soon-to-expire work address, email from my personal address, or ignore him? I'm afraid it'll still bug me if I ignore. I also want to be on good terms with Ann (she has some connections where I'm heading to and I fear she'll retaliate), even if she doesn't understand what went wrong and no one has apologized since that incident.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I am currently struggling heavily with depression. Which impacts my quality of sleep. Sleep now has never been a talent of mine. So I generally make up for it by napping. I used to absolutely love it. Both the initial and the waking up (feeling well rested). But lately the waking up part is getting more and more difficult. It then feels like someone hung an anchor on my mental health. I am at that point in absolute disarray and so depressed it makes me feel anxious it's so bad.

This may be above lemmy's pay grade but still here goes. Should I stop taking naps? Also I'm thinking of taking antidepressants, anyone here have any experience?

Edit: Thank you all for the replies. I currently in talks with a therapist about taking antidepressants. For the mean time I have found that if when I wake up from a nap and just immediately get out of bed and go into the other room. It helps alleviate the "depressional" fall out that would normally follow.

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https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLopDcjdhYBYkHE_nqV7QNzrCsnscs2amf&si=q-PTjPEwEvuGWnkJ

There was a music compilation album called "Ultimate Dance" from 2004 that my family listened to. I maintain a YouTube Playlist with all the songs, some were difficult to track down, being that they are all published before 2004, and many are not of English origin.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Someone told me that if you keep your gaze fixed and imagine a completely black circle right above someone's head, what you are actually doing is telepathy... so far I haven't researched more about it but I have noticed that some strange things happen when I do that, I see spirals and the vision looks different, could someone confirm what your experience is when doing the same?

Edit: As someone said in the comments, have you ever seen an image in black and white with a red dot in the center what if you keep your stare fixed for a certain time in it and close and open your eyes rapidly you see the image of JesusChrist? Maybe it is realated to the phenomenon in some way.

If someone try it and notice some result please let me know.

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submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

It's Autumn in the Southern hemisphere (Spring time in the Northern hemisphere), and I get fascinated by a lamp post near me that some birds have been using as a hand-me-down for a decade now.

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submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/844237

I've never been that far to the south but lately I've been reading and watching those novels and movies.

The prevalent idea is: in this world (Texas?) you are alone, nobody gives a cr*p about you, do not trust anyone because they'll take advantage of you, ridicule and mock you. The world (or maybe only Texas?) is an inhospitable, inhuman, Darwinist place.

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Asklemmy

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A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

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If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
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  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
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