this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Rule 9 from Agans's Debugging: If you didn't fix it, it ain't fixed

Intermittent problems are the worst...

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The problem is, how do you fix it if you can't make it break?

The worst thing is when somebody comes to you saying "yeah, I had this problem yesterday, but it's working now".

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

this is a case for excessive logging man

likely won't help you actually fix the issue because miraculously you didn't log the three variables you actually need but it'll make you feel better in the meantime

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

and gives you some headroom in improving performance since it's being choked by the excessive logging

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago (4 children)

ngl my programming career helped me stay grounded in reality. Every impossible issue turned out to always have a cause, a reason to be there. Could have taken weeks to track down the issue, but there was always a cause.

But still.. every 3 or so years.. something actually impossible pops-up. Impossible to fix, impossible to reproduce, and suddenly gone from existence, as if it was never there.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Cosmic radiation! Bit flips! Quantum tunneling! Who TF knows...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

If only consumer hardware had ECC memory

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Given how software is a giant Jenga tower made of smaller Jenga towers it's amazing any of it works at all

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Well at least some of the Jenga towers have redundant Jenga tower replicas, and that Jenga tower over there has a bunch of other Jenga towers ready to be propped up by a PAASser-by given a small cold start penalty. And this one? Nobody knows how it works, but it always worked.

Right? ... Right?

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The longer I’m in IT, the more I realize that the adeptus mechanicus might be on to something with beseeching the machine spirit.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (4 children)

A lot of people think I'm joking when I say I'm a good at what I do because I'm a witch doctor with computers. Software Engineering requires experience with the occult, at a minimum.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“In my professional opinion, this network is haunted.”
…haunted?
(Points to various certifications) “HAUNTED.”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And for some reason printers seem to be the place where the spirits are strongest

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I think you mean demons

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The demons are attracted to doorways, passages between spaces, worlds, and realms. And printers are the ultimate doorway: a portal through which ideas and concepts can leave the software realm and enter the physical

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The other day I launched an old game and got met with an error, something about directX9 and missing a redistributable file or something. Decided not to fuck with it.

Yesterday I launched it again to take a closer look at the error message to see if I could fix it. No error message, game booted without issues.

My confusion.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Did you reboot your PC after installing? Games often included DirectX redistributables which required a reboot to fully install.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Don't forget them cosmic rays flipping bits in your memory.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
if (new Date().getDay() % 2) {
    runCode();
}
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have this issue once in a while with PowerShell.

The environment gets f'up as you develop. You get strange shit happening or it blows up.

Restart PowerShell or reboot and it's all good

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

lucky, you have code gnomes. leave out an offering of mountain dew and pizza rolls to appease the spirits.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Still better than my Go experience 2 years ago.

  • fails when deployed, after adding debug statements looks like in one structure there's 2 instead of 1, and looking at the code that should be impossible. Issue happens every single time.
  • the same exact unmodified container when downloaded and run locally works correctly every time.
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Build caches are a bitch.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I had that happen with embedded programming when you forget to flush the eeprom after changing your saved values.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

hmm embedded. Beautifuly memories from uni. One lab my team forgot to remove a register whose supposed purpose was only enabling a communications bus (documentation didn't mention it doing anything else). Turns out that same register disables the dac which we needed for the new excersise. You learn to love the hardware datasheets real quick.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And when the data sheet is wrong that gets fun. You start parsing I2S for each bit and record the result until you see a pattern. Or when your program crashes the USB and you can’t reupload without hitting boot or reset but they are inside the box.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

MY PEOPLE!!! My code recently decided to not erase the flash when writing new firmware, bricking the device. Good times. (Old code || new code does not make for a working system)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I’m dealing with this right now. Making the largest embedded project for me (self taught) RP2040 in Cpp with a TFT touch screen, an IMU with fusion, a strip of “neopixels”, a 12v battery voltage reader, some Lemo connectors and custom cables, all in a 3D printed case in 3 parts. I’m so close to the end but still facing some code issues.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Cosmic radiation could always wreak havock by simply switching a 0 to a 1. It appears The Universe is Hostile to Computers.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Maybe it only works on even dates, which is, you know, perfectly normal.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

In university, we had to complete weekly tasks. A few times, the validation script provided by my professor returned an error, meaning that my solution had a mistake. When I tried rerunning the script the following day, my answer was accepted. At the end of the last lecture, my professor came to me and told me that I was usually the first one to hand in a solution and that he sometimes used my answers to validate his results.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I've recently had the opposite: code worked then the next day without anything changing it didn't.

Turned out the J-Link programmer always needs the license check to work, but that expires every day at midnight. It only prompts again if you choose the app and restart it. So I couldn't get my debugger to work and spent hours trying to figure it out until I did the best thing. I turned it off and on again.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So... Network issue. I'm not falling for those ever again.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a network engineer, I hate you. Everyone blames network, even when the program/code/script/etc is the only thing that won't work on it.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

just make sure you absolutely don't comment or document it then commit it to git with a cryptic commit message and even more cryptic author name and then hand it off to your coworkers

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I had a bug in unity once where my project just stopped working. I hadn't changed anything, but I could no longer compile it or run the game in editor. I looked up the issue and apparently unity has/had a long-standing bug where the engine would rarely just quit being able to compile your scripts. The only solution was to make a new project and reimport all your assets, scripts, scenes, etc. Dunno if they ever figured out what was causing it or if it just kinda resolved itself and stopped showing up at some point. I don't really use unity much anymore.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Code works

Ctrl+a, ctrl+x, ctrl+v

Code doest work

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

As a full stack cloud dev usually for me it ends up being some lag between when Azure claims a thing was updated and when it actually was.

(shout out to azure B2C custom policies for taking like 10 minutes to actually reflect changes despite giving me a lil green checkmark)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Reminds me of the time I couldn't get my code to compile due to invisible unicode characters in the code I copy-pasted from the web.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you include an odd day of the month exception?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It do be like that sometimes... haha

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Setting up a stack of mongo db and unifi network application in docker compose
Doesnt work

Takes stack down, turns a setting off and on, starts the compose
Suddenly starts working

._.

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