this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
465 points (97.5% liked)

memes

10427 readers
2752 users here now

Community rules

1. Be civilNo trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politicsThis is non-politics community. For political memes please go to [email protected]

3. No recent repostsCheck for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No botsNo bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/AdsNo advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

Sister communities

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago (15 children)

You do that in the US, and they will shoot you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Not if you run away fast enough.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Only if I have my pumped up kicks

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't have to run away out in the open in a straight line, you know.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
load more comments (14 replies)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

i used to do this with friends anyway

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I believe it’s 999 over there. Or did they update it to 0118 999 88199 9119 725 3

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Dear Sir/Madam.

Fire! Fire! Help me!

123 Carenden Road.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

All the Best.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I'll just put this over here with the rest of the fire...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

They also have an online chat which they try to direct you to for 'non-emergency' stuff.

Couple of years back, I went to vote in local council election and one candidate had stationed goons outside the voting centre trying to pressure people to change their votes. 50 fucking minutes I sat waiting to talk to someone, who then told me they didn't know what offence had been committed (the offence is 'undue influence', no-one has ever been convicted because it's usually sufficient for police to attend and move them on).

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Snitches get stitches. According to GB customs, prepare to be knifed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh why bother with giving them cuts to sew back together just break out the embroidery kit were giving em the most unpleasant tattoos made of string

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oi mate, call grandma ! We're gonna frankenstein this fella.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

ITS ALIVE IT DIDN'T KILL ITSELF

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I grew up next to an RAF base in the UK, it had areas forbidden to civvies but also several large areas where the force staff with families would live. These areas were an absolute knock-door-run goldmine, long rows of houses with doors for knocking.

We were, undisputably, little shits. Knock-door-run was the least of the problems we caused for the 'toy police' (as we called the military police as they had no powers of arrest over civvies). We'd all line up in a row, knock 10 doors at once then leg it. You did NOT want to be the clumsy-footed teen knocking on the door at the back of the row! I had no idea we were breakin' the lawwwww

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You call it knock-door-run? What a dumb thing to call it. Brits always have weird names for things. In Canada we call it Nicky-nicky-nine-doors. Like normal people.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

Great Britain is the large island. Northern Ireland is also shaded red, meaning it's the entire UK.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That explains why they had to come up with Theft and Shrubbery.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

We do beg your pardon,

For we are in your garden!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Fuckin' UK. Making everything they can possibly think of illegal since checks notes 12 July 927.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Oi mate, you got your complaining licence? Its illegal to complain about UK law without a permit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You jest, but you weren't there in 1986. Never has fish been handled so suspiciously, before or since. It's the only country where I've ever felt safe from those pesky suspicious fish handlers.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Sam O'Nella Academy

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is there a time limit?

Are the people inside similarly required to answer the door within that time limit?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

No to both. If you knock on a door in Britain, you must remain there indefinitely until the homeowner arrives. If the house is unoccupied, you have doomed yourself.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Yeah but only because it's way more punk if it's illegal 😎

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

A better question to ask, what's not wrong with the British?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This calls for Neg's Urban Sports - Knock and don't run:

https://piped.video/watch?v=XfD8pq6oZhw

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guess they really don't like someone knocking on doors over there.

Of course a country which puts their children in suits and sends them to boarding schools may have an issue with understanding what it means to have fun as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or some kids really over did it in a politician house.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Question is: is it punishable?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

KLINGELSTREICH!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I guess they don't come from the school of hard knocks

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is there a source for this.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Wow that's a gold mine! Some highlights:

Every person shall be liable to a penalty [...] who [...] commit any of the following offences;

[...]

Every person who shall roll or carry any cask, tub, hoop, or wheel, or any ladder, plank, pole, showboard, or placard, upon any footway, except for the purpose of loading or unloading any cart or carriage, or of crossing the footway

[...]

Every person who shall blow any horn or use any other noisy instrument, for the purpose of calling persons together, or of announcing any show or entertainment, or for the purpose of hawking, selling, distributing, or collecting any article whatsoever, or of obtaining money or alms

[...]

Every person who shall wilfully and wantonly disturb any inhabitant by pulling or ringing any door-bell or knocking at any door without lawful excuse, or who shall wilfully and unlawfully extinguish the light of any lamp

[...]

Every person who shall fly any kite or play at any game to the annoyance of the inhabitants or passengers, or who shall make or use any slide upon ice or snow in any street or other thoroughfare, to the common danger of the passengers.

So don't even think about *checks notes* flying a kite and playing games in general and also don't you dare to *checks notes again* slide on ice or carry a wheel on a footpath, punk!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

There's a reason the UK has the "Oy mate, have you got a loisence for that loisence?" joke. ("Loisence" meaning "license", but pronounced funny)

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (7 children)

When I was a kid we called it 'knock down ginger'. No idea why. We would just knock and run. Lots of fun. Once or twice we were chased by grown ups. I don't really hear of kids doing it today, probably because everyone has ring cameras or similar things nowadays.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it gets its name from the 1967 George McKay Shaw poem

  Ginger, Ginger broke a winder
  Hit the winda – crack!
  The baker came out to give 'im a clout
  And landed on his back.
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

NO

NO

NO

YES YES YES……YES!!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

common uk L

load more comments
view more: next ›