Lesbians!

I think it's a general issue with dating apps, I always hear people talk about getting ghosted on there. Sometimes even on a date itself, they are at the restaurant and no one shows up. It's really messed up, it's like using a dating app creates such a distance from a real person that it feels like you can do whatever you want and not have to feel bad.

My current partner told me after we'd been dating for a few months that she almost flaked on me for our first date. This date was my first and only match I had on that dating app in an entire month. For her, it seemed like an easy thing to do. For me, it would have destroyed my confidence if the one match I got flaked on me. We're both glad she didn't because we're still together after more than 6 years but it really shows you how different people think.

Is an openly bi guy allowed to comment here? If not please let me know then I will delete this comment.

I happen to see such behaviour (ghosting after a promising start, already planning for a first in person meeting) very often, too, (although it's with guys obviously), and I asked those who were available for such questions afterwards why they didn't follow through.

Answer nearly always was: They dream of living out this part of their sexuality (they very often crave it because it really is what they are) but can't risk to get "caught" by their partners, families and other social circle. Very often they use conversations with other guys to get them off (i.e. masturbation, it often is as simple as that) - and after getting a high out of being in touch with a real guy interested in them and being relieved of the most urgent pressure they can get back to their closeted life until the next time the craving gets too strong. Some of these conversations had a dark overtone as these guys really felt like living a torn, "wrong" life.

Does that match any of your experiences?