Asklemmy

I thought that there was one guy named Michael J---son who used his fame as an NBA star to launch a career as pop singer, radically changing his appearance in the process. I don't think I realized they were different people until high school.

I thought vampires were real so I never slept with my back to the door for years thinking they'd bite me in my neck whilwt I slept.

I learned how planes work before cars, so since faster cars always had more exhaust pipes than slower cars I presumed the concept of thrust was similar to a jet engine and had no idea that the wheels themselves were powered until I mentioned it when I was like 6-7.

I used to think Parkinson's disease was named after TV chat show host Michael Parkinson.

Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy, god, etc

That women are attracted to nice guys.

It’s 97% untrue.

Not saying they are attracted to jerks either - in fact my overwhelming impression is that women despise those too (some exceptions exist of course).

Just saying that however equality has come, and should still come, attraction exists at a lower level. And at that level, someone who can hold their own, push their way through and be kind about it, will always attract more women than the “nice guy”.

Before you react - I’ve been together with my wife 17 years, we have four kids and I’m not some kind of player.

Just stating that I was brought up to believe women always prefer nice guys. And in retrospect I can see that I was brought up by a well meaning parents (mother, my dad was in the navy so away a lot) who tried their best to make me “not an asshole”. They succeeded. But I wish my dad at some point had sat me down to tell me a few home truths about how the biology of attraction works.

My grandmother told me that lightning is attracted to hair so I wouldn't go out during storms which I loved.

i thought that pregnancy was caused when a man and a woman slept in the same bed. the "seed" left the man in the night and went inside of the woman under its own volition. i understood the general ideas of sexual reproduction (i knew that a sperm had to get in an egg and so on) but had no concept of the mechanics of how it happened

I thought that cars are only able to drive on the street and was baffled when we saw an offroad rally on the TV

Demons are real and they live inside your computer delivering your emails and internet. Before computers they used to screw around with physicists and mathematians and break their theories but now they're too busy to do that anymore.

Not religious in the slightest, my dad just saw me asking what Beastie on his BSD machine's screensaver was and decided to fuck with me when he realised I didn't know what a demon (in any sense of the word) was

I used to think all adults were 10 years old. I mean, 10 is a large number right?

Two things: counting using the last "0" number before going on to another decade (ie. ...18,19,10,20...28,29,20,30) and that credit cards have unlimited money lol

There are tiny people in casette tapes and they get tired if you play them for too long.

I thought my mom pissed out of her ass

All drains went directly to the ocean - no processing, no filtration, nothing.