this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I have set my new name everywhere I can in the AppleID settings but the old name is still showing up in this place, and maybe in other places which I haven't seen yet. But how can I get my chosen name to show up here?

(for clarity, this is the profile picture selection on iPadOS)

Solution: The solution for me was that I had to change my name in the contacts.

More comprehensive solution here

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[–] [email protected] 111 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Isn’t that information stored in your own ‘contact-card’ (so contacts > your own dead name)

[–] [email protected] 57 points 4 months ago

That was it! Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago

Your name will need to be changed in three places.

Change your Apple ID name here:

https://support.apple.com/en-us/109353

Change your device name here:

https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/change-the-name-of-your-iphone-iphf256af64f/ios

Change your name in Contacts.

You also will want to log into any email accounts through their web interfaces, go to account settings, and change your name there as well.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What's a dead name? Is that like a zombie name?

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I'm glad you ask about things you don't know. You're a smart person.

A dead name is a person's given name, in the context of a person having transitioned to a different gender and also changing their name to match the gender they identify as. It is bad form to then continue to call them by their birth name.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

It could also be, perhaps, someone's given name before adoption gave them a new one. Or perhaps a meddling relative suggested a "better" name, and then the person went back to the one they were born with, leaving the relative's name idea dead.

It's not trans-exclusive (I fall into the latter category I mentioned) but it's definitely a mostly trans concept

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

is a marriage a reason too? (gay marriage included)

edit: rewording

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Not generally. It generally refers to first names more than surnames. It also strongly implies that you actively want to kill the name off, not just move to the new one. It's changing names with prejudice against the old one.

Refering to someone by their maiden name is generally not considered insulting. Dead naming someone (after you're aware) is extremely insulting.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

that's really interesting never heard of that scenario before

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

That was new to me. Thank you for sharing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh, I've been calling it my slave name

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

lol that works, too!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So does that make the new name the undead name, and therefore like a zombie name?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

I know you're joking, but for those who don't understand sarcasm it's more akin to a rebirth name when changing it after religious epiphanies or extreme cases of cuttingoff communication from one's origin family/tribe.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

~~Have you tapped on the circle with your initials/profile pic to change your name there when you open Settings -> Apple ID?~~ nm I’m dumb, this only changes your profile pic

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If anyone ever figures this out for your Steam account (not the gamertag, which can be changed), lmk, I'm in a similar boat.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

On Steam, click your username in the top bar, and select “profile” from the dropdown menu. On the profile page, there’s an “edit profile” button near the top right corner, underneath your level. In the “General” tab, the field “real name” should be the second one down

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Oh, I meant the underlying account name itself. The account that you log in with if you don't use a QR code.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

steam has changed people's login names when they cited the fact it contains their deadname and they want it changed. so contact their support about it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Steam support is really really good. They've helped me on multiple occasions.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I think your only option is to contact support for that. I think I remember reading that it is possible with their help.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Currently, there are no way to change it. I know the pain, I have a almost two decade old cringeworthy name.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Thank god I'm not the only one >_>

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Also same, this just seems to be a rite of passage with Steam