Asklemmy

Although not something I could see myself doing, I don't judge. People can be too busy for dating, out of practice, too awkward or just wanting to cross off something off their bucket list. At the very least it ain't my business.

I don’t see a problem with it but there’s definitely a stigma associated with it. (At least in the US) I think folks who pay are seen as not being able to find it elsewhere which may make them appear as not desirable to other people which then may make your partner question if they’re making a bad choice. Unless you happen to be in an area that has well regulated sex workers, I imagine people might think that you’ve been exposed to STDs which may give you a perception of being “unclean”.

I don’t think you should have to lie when finding a partner… but I do think telling them this (at the beginning) may be problematic for you for a lot of people.

I’d love to see sex work well regulated, protected, and normalized in the US but I don’t think we’re there.

The problem is exploitation which can and does happen in every industry. Sex work is no exception to that rule. Nobody is saying amazon needs to be abolished because of how they treat their workers. But some people see one industry or another as being inherently exploitative.

Pierre Elliot Trudeau, a former prime minister of Canada, has a great quote that I like to pull out: "No place for the state in the bedrooms of of the nation."

I think sex work should be legal and regulated to avoid trafficking and other health issues. General indecency shouldn't be allowed, like in playgrounds, parks, or where minors may otherwise be present. Private clubs, events, etc. should be fine. Governments should otherwise be uninvolved in our sex lives. It's none of their business.

However to answer your question directly, while I think it should be legal I also think it's sad when men use a sex workers services. I try not to, but I can't help but judge them. There's only a handful of reasons where I think its a persons only option. If someone feels like they've run out of options, it's just sad to me. What's gone wrong? Where's your confidence? Have you given up?

And for those legitimate reasons, like someone who's physically handicapped - that's heartbreaking for whole other reasons.

It just makes me sad.

Worked night shift at a hotel next to a night club that doubled as a brothel, could talk to the girls who were always taken to our hotel, heard how the dudes talked about the girls they had sex with, i say kill everyone who pays for sex.

And this was supposed to be a "good" place btw.

Logically, if he treats the sex worker right, with no demanding, no (non negotiated/sane) violence, and his actions don’t extend into monogamous relationships, and his views on future sexual partners are neither transactional nor cruel, it should be fine.

Emotionally would likely be a different story for the partner, or at least for me. Partly due to the stigma attached to sex work, and partly due to feelings of inadequacy or worry about needing to perform unwanted acts, and partly due to a suspicion that that really would affect his views, because people’s thoughts and feelings are messy, sprawling things that don’t fit into the mental cabinets we stuff them into. But if the partner couldn’t get over that, then they’re not for him.

And yes, this applies to women who pay for sex workers, too. Or at least it damn well should.

It grosses me out, but as long as they're not shitty to the sex worker and the sex worker isn't being abused by a pimp, and everyone consents, it's none of my damned business.

I know a guy who does, and while it doesn't really matter I'm my opinion, he's kind of a weirdo sleezebag already so it's kind of expected. I suspect there's a correlation that makes it a little hard to separate the service from the kind of guy who would seek out the service.

No judgement. BUT. I have slightly less of an opinion of those who do it when visiting a foreign country. Like a number of other things (such as gambling) I don't quite like the idea of a city having their citizens relying on sex tourism for sustainability, which by itself is whatever. But mixing that with the concept of fetishizing other races makes it icky. I can't imagine a man with "class" doing it.

I mean, it just depends on why. I don't look down on it as a whole, but if you're in a relationship and doing it on the side, I think you're a scumbag. That would go for women, too though.

I personally wouldn't date a man who's into that, I'd be too worried they'd indulge while we're together, and that's a hard no for me.