I understand that but what if they actually donu understand me and I have done a terrible job of expressing myself
this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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You can’t control how people react to you, unfortunately. This has been my mantra for about a year now and it’s incredible how much I’ve caught myself attempting the Sisyphean task of taking control over how people perceive me and react to that perception. There’s no point in wrestling people into communicating with you properly. It usually just results in anxiety or in you accidentally communicating extra information that you didn’t intend.
For me it's not how people react to me, it's more that I find it absurdly important to get point I'm trying to make across perfectly and try to prevent any possible miscommunication
Then there's my wife for whom it's both. I'm the idiot she has to explain her complicated thoughts to.
I can always tell between when thoughts are (bonus thoughts) or when they’re condescending. Most the time it’s neither, but there are some assholes.
I ask what people know about a topic before I start. Most people don’t like being put on the spot to prove their knowledge about a random topic, but it seems to work better and be more engaging than just assuming they do or don’t know and dumping accordingly.
I‘m like expecting the problem is me, changing what needs to be changed so I can definitely not be the problem, and then blame you.
I always assume nobody cares so just summarize in a sentence
No I mansplain because too many dumb fucks in my life will tell me they understand what I mean and then when I explain it anyway they have no idea what I meant.
Sucks to suck stupid people ruined it for everyone now y'all have to listen to explanations regardless.
So, everyone suffers because you surround yourself with people that you think are beneath you?
The thing is that there are almost an infinite number of things you can learn and you only have enough time to learn a few of them. So if I talk to someone else, there is a very small chance that person spent their limited time learning the exact same things I did. Of course, this depends on context. At work I assume that the people who also work in the quite specific niche I’m in have a large overlap in knowledge, but a random person I meet anywhere else probably won’t even be aware that this thing I know a lot about is even a thing. Not because they are stupid but because they spent their time learning other stuff I know fuck all about.
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So which one is this post?