this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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Funny

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[–] [email protected] 161 points 1 year ago (17 children)

A horse? Seriously? No way can this guy win against a horse. Have you seen horses? They’re huge.

[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fast too! And have you counted the legs?? DOUBLE the number, I shit you not!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you for not shitting me, that sounds more unpleasant than fighting a horse...

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Idunno, some people pay good money for that sort of thing 🤷

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

When people say stuff like this, I assume they never lived much outside of cities, and never had much contact with animals, besides pets. Seriously, a horse? Even smaller animals can be a challenge. Most animals are stronger and/or faster than us, and have fangs, claws, etc.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean I or you certainly couldn't get it in PvP. But if you can scare it enough so it starts to run, a human (of old times) would win.

If you have trail finding/following skills, you can literally chase it to exhaustion. Humans have one of the best stamina in the animal kingdom. We used to chase animals until they just couldn't move further. Apart from hunting in groups, that was our thing.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What the fuck is a horse going to do with prep time? That being said, I am not confident in a 1v1 against an animal with more muscles than myself, even if incrediblely fragile.

Pink fairy armadillo, on the other hand, would be absolutely obliterated by me in unarmed combat.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It will spy on your preparation. Make a plan. Make at least 7 alternative plans, each with contingencies for all your preparation. That's the horses advantage - bigger head means more space to store plans.

Of course it might get spooked by a leaf and fucking die for no reason. You never know. You can't know. That's what makes them so dangerous. To you, and to themselves.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I wish to subscribe to your zoology podcast 😂

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I feel like prep time gives the human the advantage, prep is basically our whole thing and you can make a lot of sharpened sticks in an hour.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I've been around a few horses. If the horse knows you're coming for it, it can and will make you regret it.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Like fr what's a horse gonna do with prep time?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eat alfalfa. Jump the fence and be 10 miles away from where you expect it to be. You'll never find it before you have to sleep, and that's when it'll get ya.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Prep time isn't an advantage if you procrastinate!

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Note, they are actually much larger than the average silicon version of it. The largest I could find was 43 cm long, which is OK to take. But normally, they're ~1 m when e... oh wait, you mean "take" as in "win against", nvm.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Not sure who these foolishly brave Americans are who think they can beat an elephant and a grizzly bear bare handed.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The amount of people who don't think they can beat a rat is concerning

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Rats are fast though. Would depend, do I get time to set traps? Bait? Do I get a net or other weapons.

You drop a normal guy in an area with a rat, , with no tools, weapons etc. you'd see him chase the fucker around for an hour before he gives up.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Let me try, let me try:

Lemmings, would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The tiny 1ft -ish extinct Dawn-Horse was a real thing. PBS documentary modeled it as skittish, jumpy, fast, tough enough to drag and push logs. Catch a couple of those and you got youself a pair of 30mph roller skates.
~🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎~

1 horse-sized duck, male, that's in the mood... Ever witness firemen tackle a charged firehose that broke loose and is whipping around... amorously. Now put a Clydesdale at the end of that. You may be chance lucky enough to distract it with bread, but can really only fight it from space.

🦆

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Obviously the duck-sized horses, that's not even a fight. What amounts to pretty much a t-rex, on the other hand...

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (28 children)

Ignoring venom and poison, the most dangerous animal a human could realistically win against would be a wolf. That doesn't mean I could win against a wolf, but some humans can and have.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

IDK. People have wrestled bears.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (5 children)

There was that one guy that choked a bear to death with the bloody stump of his wrist after the bear bit his hand off, so I'd say that counts as a technical win.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I could probably take my cat in a fight. There would be significant casualties on my side, to be sure, but I believe I could emerge victorious in the end.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Yea, but the horse gets it too.

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/73e593c6-ef7b-4f44-9bcf-d7803eb6ec56.jpeg

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Yeah punch a horse in the face, see how many broken bones you have if you live lol

That being said, the post is accurate, although took me less than an hour to reply

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