Transfem

3522 readers

2 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
No NSFW image posts.
Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
Please do not repost bigoted content here.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Sometimes I feel like I'm transitioning out of being queer (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Where are all my transhet sisters?

I love the queer community and I feel like the more I work on myself, the less accepted I will be as a queer person.

For example, I joined a queer friend-finding app recently which didn't have an option to label myself heterosexual. At first I went stealth and didn't list my sexuality, and I got lesbians calling me a tease. I made a public post about being transhet and I mostly got messages from weird cis men.

I'm going to look for friends only under the trans umbrella for now, online and irl.

To that end: I like pop music, knitting, and politics. Please tell me your favorite online communities and people to follow!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Oh, that sounds really hard. Sorry to hear!

I think it's probably mostly a result of living in a rural area? If I had to live in an area with only cishet people, trying to blend in a little, I would feel disconnected to the queer community as well! And I'm a transbian xD

As a counterexample: One of my flatmates is cishet but all of her friends (and flatmates) are queer/nb/trans etc. We often talk about how she sometimes has the impulse to be ashamed of being straight because of how problematic cisheteronormativity is. But in my mind, she is also kind of queer because she tries in every way possible to dissolve cisheteronormativity. She is also surrounded by queer culture and is pretty far away from straight people in that regard.

And I think this is actually a really hard position to be in: to be a feminist and simultaneously being romantically and sexually attracted to straight men. Resulting in heterofatalism and all that.

It also depends on how you understand 'queer'. Many would think not straight and/or not cis. To me, queer is very much political, not fitting in and trying to dismantle cisheteronormativity. However, queering cishet norms is not accessible to everyone and probably not advisable for anyone alone in a rural community? Also, I probably tend to be of that opinion because I've never fit in and get frequently misgendered the moment I step into straight spaces.

I am obsessed with crocheting atm by the way. I made a humongous millipede (over 1.5 m long) and many other ~~little~~ critters I can cuddle :) What are you knitting?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm so sorry about your experiences in straight spaces. It's so easy to be respectful of someone's identity and does so much harm to not be... I'm angry for you!

I agree about how cisheteronormativity needs to be deconstructed and I probably wouldn't be friends with anyone that says that straight culture doesn't have problems. In the end, I think it's up to each het individual to parse which parts of the culture are problematic. It's not like I can change my sexuality anyways, and I've definitely tried lol.

I'm finishing up a pair of socks at the moment! I've got a few things on cables or lifelines though, like a pink pig which would be my first stuffed animal!