this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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ADHD

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Sorry for the negative post but this disorder is genuinely terrible. I was diagnosed a few months ago and from the report I received it seems like I have an extremely bad case of it.

I lost 8 percent of my final grade in an operating system class because I submitted the wrong file.

Fine, I have syncthing setup between my desktop and laptop so I'll just check if the assignment is on my shared folder in my desktop. It's not.

Ok, I'll turn on my laptop and grab the file itself. Oh, I have a boot error and now I need to open up the recovery environment to see if the hard drive is even being recognized.

It's not. Now I have to open up the laptop and reconnect it.

At this point it's been 30 minutes of me scrambling to get my laptop up and working again and I found the damn assignment there. I emailed my professor and I'm praying that he reevaluates the assignment because the earlier submission had nothing on it. It was just the default assignment.

None of this shit would have happened had I taken just one second to check over what I submitted a month earlier.

I hate reading articles pertaining to ADHD as if it's some quirky condition that just takes a little bit of time and medication to work through. Its not. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm even conscious in order to function at all, and now I have to sustain extra mental effort to do a relatively hard task.

The only thing that keeps me going is my boss saying "nice work" when I diagnose an issue successfully. It feels infantilizing, as if he knows there's something going on with me that's making it hard to cope with the demands of life but "atleast he's trying his best, atleast he shows up to work, this customer said he had a friendly attitude".

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[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

ADHD is neither a flaw nor a superpower IMO, (in most, non severe cases)- most 'ADHD' is a normal neural varient. Some people are starved of dopamine due to desensitization/lack of rewarding tasks in life, and some people have a clinical lack of neurotransmitters that need to be supplemented.

I struggled for years through highschool and most of college with my ADHD, and it wasn't until I (somewhat accidently) found myself working in emergency medicine that I could see it as positive at all.

In a hunter gather society, most of what we term 'ADHD' would be a huge benefit- the ability to rapidly learn, rapidly switch tasks, and do a little of everything. The issue is our current society doesn't reward these traits- we are physically sedentary, and ask ever increasing concentration on ever more abstract tasks of our workers. It's not that you are broken; it's that society doesn't play to your strengths- AT ALL.

In the ER, I'm very happy, because most of my work consists on hyperfocusing for super short stents, then moving on to the next thing. Additionally, I actually calm down somewhat and can self regulate much, much better than I can in ordinary life. As you may know, one of the hallmarks of ADHD is a lack of dopamine- part of what makes concentration so difficult for us and why we seek constant stimulation. In the high pressure, high stimulus enviroment of the ER, it's almost feels like time slows down for me- I feel calm and super focused, which is very rare for me in daily life.

I'm not saying all this to convince you to work in emergency medicine, only to provide a contrast- I used to want to be an engineer, and frankly I would be (even nore) dependent on stimulants if I tried to do a job like that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I'm the same but IT for hedge funds. Everything to them is an emergency and I can learn new tech almost over night.

Ask me to take a test on the finite details of the tech and I'm screwed (so no certs).

I am the go to guy for anything urgent or new because they know I'll focus on nothing else until I'm done. Sometimes they will Door dash my lunch because they know I'll forget.

I took wanted to be an engineer but I cannot study at all.

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