Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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This isn't exactly an answer to your question, but an alternative monitoring architecture that elides this problem entirely is to run netdata on each server you run.
This approach needs no external monitoring hosts. It's not as elegant as a remote monitoring host that shows everything from a third-party perspective, but that also has the benefit of not false-positiving because the monitoring host went down or lost its network path to the monitored host... Netdata can always see what's happening because it's right there when it happens.
I run netdata to collect usage statistics etc. directly on my VPS. I don’t need Uptime Kuma for that, because of course I know right away if my server is down or if it’s just a service. I am hosting some things also for my friends and family, and I’d like to have an option for them to check what is going on. Imagine they cannot access a service, they go to the status page and see that it is either a planned maintenance (updating, editing the configuration etc.) or there something else wrong, and they will see exactly when the service went back online. Without externally hosted status page like this, all they would get is an error. This way is much nicer for the non-technical audience.
Fair enough, sound like you have a well considered use case for Kuma specifically. Good luck, I don't have much to offer on your OP question.