Hi everyone, I'm currently going thru a breakup with someone that seems to be a narcissist (no diagnosis but their behaviour seems to point that she is) and I think is the first time I dealt with someone like that.
We had a fallout after she had an argument with her family and friends during a party that I attended to at her place, she stormed out of her place completely drunk and left me there in a weird position, her friends where bitter and told me things about her and it matched with things I saw by myself but wasn't sure so I didn't make a big fuss about them and that broke me completely since I'm deeply in love with her.
Her friends and I just stopped talking to her after her rude behavior and actually expected her to apologize to me or give me an explanation but she didn't budge and just kept on partying and not talking at all to me for almost a week and whene she did talk was to tell me that how did I dare to distrust her.
She has been on and off with me and calls me in the middle of the night piss drunk to tell me she loves me and that she misses me and then she'll go cold again, we'll spend a night together and then cold again and that's driving me mad since I already tend to overthink everything or day dream a lot and is literally torture in my brain I cannot take the thoughts out of my head since I'm hyper focusing on that only and is making me feel a lot of pain and solitude.
Have you ever dealt with a situation like this? Are narcissists attracted to ADHD folk? Do you have any ideas or strategies that have worked for your to bring yourself back to a more normal state?
Thanks in advance for your responses
Edit: I wanted to ad as well that she's a transgender woman and I had a crush on her since I was a teenager (she's kinda popular on social media in my country) she actually made me realize that I liked trans girls and somehow we bumped into each other again now that I'm an adult but now I'm having these thoughts that I might not find someone that understands me and she made me feel like an outcast again, I introduced her to my family and made it clear that I fell in love of her goofy moments in privacy and her eyes it was never a sexual thing like really was pure but now I'm totally shattered I've been drinking every weekend in order to catch some sleep and it's scaring me a lot
Does the following sound familiar when she’s done something that you know was wrong and you confronted her?
That’s called The Narcissist’s Prayer. Narcissists are incapable of ever accepting that they’re to blame for anything. You will always be miserable in a relationship with such a person.
Yes definitely some of the things there are of the ones she've said to me. At the beginning I couldn't tell if I was right or wrong to be honest since (and I'll get a bit personal here) the first time we had an issue was over some random girl that she deemed less (she actually said she was a whore) told her that she dated me for a short while and she was trying to frame me as disgusting over that and that how I never told her I dated that girl, thanks to ADHD and being a bit of a neofite in relationships I assumed I was in the wrong for not being totally open over that, but now I know it is not normal to have to talk who I dated before hell I never asked who she dated previously cause I truly don't care.
I'm so scared that now I'm in for a ride since she'll be leaving to Europe for a beauty pageant and the thought that she might find someone "better" than me ticks my rejection fears and hypersensitivity the wrong way.