this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2024
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ADHD

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I have used Modafinil before occasionally, and it helped quite a bit, but the strong side effects forced me to save it for emergencies.

6 days ago first Elvanse. Within about 30 minutes of the first dose, many problems were gone completely! No mental effort to do what's needed, be it laundry or a subtask at work. It feels like my brain is a little butler whom I can just order around without doing it myself. Many things just happen, e. g. I put garbage in the bin, carry dishes back to the kitchen as I go anyway, without thinking about it. Complete instant fix. Also a constant feeling like a hundred bucks, better than many recreational drugs.

Almost feeling bad when gaming at the end of the day, keeping it brief, doing extra work hours right before bed. The effect has somewhat worn off by then, but the no-effort-to-do-things is still there.

I always did feel better when checking things off my todo-list, even untreated, but now I get a lot more done, since there is no pain to just do it.

I can also work out until the body just physically gives in; there is no mental barrier to fight like "ONE MORE REP!!!". It might have been a mistake to exploit that in the first few days, leading to exhaustion and more difficulty to judge the right dose / side effects. When I saw someone who was very buff, I used to think: He may not look like it, but he has fantastic discipline, focus and willpower. Now I wonder if some of these people are just normal, lol

This is a completely different life, and slightly better than Modafinil! I am a little worried about when the effect wears off and I need a break, but I've been there before: A lot can get done with just about 50 "super-days" per year.

What did not improve one bit is my forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. Just as stupid as before, e. g. packing a suitcase, putting things next to it to stash something else and then forgetting them. Leaving my phone in insane places. Barely able to use the self-checkout at a supermarket. It's always an adventure, looking confused between the card screen and the items screen, often needing an employee, forgetting my card there and not realising before the next day etc. Problems with web UIs & pop-ups. That's what my GP wanted checked out 1 1/2 years ago, but no appointments.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I can focus longer on tasks I don't want to do, like pointless work tasks and can retain information in the shirt term longer than without meds. Completion of large and complex work doesn't end up being a downward spiral of 'what if' side tracks that aren't relevant, and refraining from speaking up when not needed is way easier. Social interactions are a lot less stressful because i say what I'm actially thinking snd not drifting into random tangents.

What didn't work is long term retention of learned skills. Whole meds helped with doing new things in the short term even when uninterested, I still have to relearn most things I haven't done for a few years. Honestly that is the worst thing for me related to ADHD, repeating all of the same mistakes any time i do something I don't do regularly and instantky remembering how I made that mistake the last two times I relearned it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can relate to the paralysing "what ifs".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, being able to focus on the important ones is such a huge benefit of meds when doing large and complex processes that can have an endless number of possibilities.