this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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I'll start off: I wish I could teleport
Wish granted, but coordinates span the universe. You mess up, teleport off planet, and die.
I wish I could fly.
edit: subconsciously copied the flying part lol
Wish granted, but you can only fly when no one is looking at you.
I wish I had the ability to predict what someone was going to say before they could say it.
Wish granted. You become popular, now the FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA all want you, and you lose control over your life.
I wish I had the ability to push the stock prices up when I squint hard enough.
Wish granted. Stock prices go up the harder you squint but conversely plummet when you don't, leading to an apocalypic market crash that can only be avoided by frequent squinting throughout the day. On the plus side markets close after 4pm so you do get to rest you eyes a bit before the next day :P
I wish I had a notebook, that whatever I drew in it would immediately come into existence in front of me.
Wish granted. You get the notebook***.
I wish I could stop time.
***accompanying magic pencil granted separately.
Wish granted. But once you use your powers for the first time you realize that you cannot unfreeze time, and so you (along with the rest of the universe) spend eternity frozen.
I wish I could cure any ailment with a single touch.
Granted. No one in your country stays sick. There is an explosion in the elderly population. The pension fund runs out. Millions starve to death.
I wish I am all-knowledgeable.
Granted but every time you try to tell someone something you know all they hear is static noise or, if written, all they see is scribblings.
I wish I could print real all-American $100 USD Benjamin’s straight from my hands whenever I wanted.
Granted. However, subdermal printing has yet to be perfected leaving your freshly printed bills stained (and sometimes still wet) with your own blood.
I wish I could get a full night's sleep in a matter of minutes.
Granted! You will get a full night's sleep in a matter of minutes. You will fall asleep for 1 minute at 4 random times during the day.
I wish I could adjust my body temperature at will.