this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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I appreciate the supportive reply. It's just that I don't feel super attracted to men most of the time. Maybe I've absorbed the reactionary idea that kids are choosing to be gay because it's cool, but I hate to take the spotlight from my gay friends who have it much harder than I do.
Lol, my analysis feels really bad.
Adding that, it's perfectly valid to say you're bi if you would never consider having a long term romantic relationship with a man, you only do that with women, but you are willing to have casual hookups with men.
Yeah this honestly sounds like a degree of internalized biphobia from growing up in a backwards era. I wonder if OP grew up today they'd have different revelations.
I convinced myself I was 100% straight despite same-sex attraction until about 14/15, solely because I could only see myself with a girl. Looking back it was cognitive dissonance, I very much wanted to fuck guys and that's pretty bi.
I also think I mind-blocked myself idea to the idea of same-sex romance from some pretty strong heteronormative societal conditioning. I feel like sexual attraction is uncontrollable, while romantic gender attraction is more mental and environmental, but with decades of conditioning, is probably extremely hard to change. There's plenty of gay men who'll tell you they are/were into guys exclusively sexually and women exclusively romantically. But afaik, sexual attraction is the main definer for sexuality
You can be bisexual but only hetero/homoromantic.