Did You Ever Hear?

The man who avoided world War 3.

I thought not. It's not a story the Quick Bits would tell you. It's a TechTube legend.

Darth Linus was a dank lord of Tech Tips, so witty and so wise, he could use the views to influence the media group to create...Labs. He had such a vision for the Labs side that he could even keep the sponsors he cared about from lying.

The dark side of LTT Labs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

He became so powerful, the only he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually of course he did. Unfortunately, his apprentice dissed a competing channel he knew, then his competitor killed him with straight facts and logic. Ironic, he can save others from death, but not himself.

I thought not. It's not a story the blue bird would tell you. It's a 𝕏 legend.

Twitter was a microblogging website, so powerful and so concise, it could use the tweets to influence the Internet packets to disseminate...news. It had such a broad reach onto the masses that it could even check the ones it cared about from lying.

The capitalist side of big tech is a pathway to many eventualities some consider to be unnatural.

It became so well-known, the only thing it was afraid of was losing its branding, which eventually of course it did. Unfortunately, Elon Musk bought off majority stake in the company, killed the blue bird, and replaced it with a letter. Ironic, it can save other brands from death, but not itself.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/2207898

Did you ever hear the tragedy of WebP The Efficient? I thought not. It’s not a story the GIF gang would tell you. It’s an image legend.

WebP was a new format of pictures, so efficient and so lightweight, it could use modern compression to influence the web pages to actually load faster…

It had such a knowledge of the user's needs that it could even keep transparency and animations from dying.

The power of modern computing is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

It became so widespread… The only thing we had to be afraid of, was people insisting on using formats from the 90's, which eventually, of course, they did.

Unfortunately, we didn't teach the noobs everything we knew about compression, then the noobs killed the format by converting it to PNG and sharing that.

Ironic. We could save the web from being too slow, but not from the users.

I thought not. It’s not a story the rebels would tell you. It’s a Combine legend.

3650 was a member of Civil Protection, so powerful and so badass, he could use Lazlo’s algorithm to influence the rebel's turrets to shoot at…themselves. He had such a knowledge of what transpires in City 10 that he could even prevent the vortigaunt conspiracy from succeeding.

The good graces of the Combine is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

He became so badass, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his family cohesion, which eventually of course he did. Unfortunately, his colleagues dug the dirt on everything about his past, and 3650 killed them all on the spot.

Ironic. He could keep the humanity on other people, but not to himself.

I thought not. It's not a story /u/spez would tell you. It's a IPO legend.

Reddit was a large platform on the Internet, so powerful and so wise, it could use the platform to influence its users to create...value. It had such a moderation force from all sides that it could even keep the subreddits it cared about from dying.

The volunteer side of moderation is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unethical.

It became so valuable, the only thing it was afraid of was losing its value at IPO, which eventually of course it did. Unfortunately, it jacked up API pricing to squeeze out third party apps, then the protesting moderators put the subreddits to sleep.

Ironic. It can save others from Internet death, but not itself.

I thought not. It's not a story the townsfolk would tell you. It's a Derry legend.

Clown Pennywise was a dark lord of the sewers so powerful and so wise, it could use fear to influence the townspeople to consume...lives. It had such a knowledge of the dark sewers, it could even keep the ones it cared about from escaping.

The fear side of emotions is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

It became so powerful, the only thing it was afraid of was losing its power, which eventually of course it did. Unfortunately, it showed a bunch of losers everything they feared, then those losers killed it in its base. Ironic. It could float other people with fear, but not itself.