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Don't go to university directly after school. Get an apprenticeship as a software developer or better yet, as a webdeveloper in a company that creates websites for customers.
Get a car! Be independent! This is the freedom you so desperately need. With a finished apprenticeship and a possibility to leave your old life behind... The rest will fall into place. Everywhere is better than staying in the pity puddle that is your hometown.
Go to the doctor and ask for medication. It’s not normal to cry for a month in deep depression and then not sleep for a month due to manic excitement. Keeping it a secret and sitting the dark wanting to cut yourself while your friends and family are unaware is stupid and selfish.
It doesn't get better.
Big Macs are not a good source for sustenance. Yes, they are tasty, no just don't.
That weird compulsion to always be in pursuit of a relationship might be gender dysphoria.
Be gay, trim weed.
Tertiary education is a scam and you should have listened to the people who tried to tell you this.
Boo! Then I'd run away
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d3a9f136-4726-4e3e-9225-671e6ac7b495#mGIwHl7Y.copy
“And will you do me a favor? Will you lay off the fucking candy bars?” - Timecop
Drop out of college to enter the workforce as you were not properly prepared for college and you still don't know what career you want. Don't join the military. Save up for a car.
Crypto currency is not a flash in the pan. Buy Bitcoin!!!
I would add "Sell at 60k" (I know it topped at over 68) and "Avoid MTGox!"
Trust your instinct that the uni course you've chosen isn't right for you.
Don't drown in self pity
Nothing you do for the next 10 years will really matter so just try to have fun and enjoy being young and without responsibilities.
You have ADHD. If you don't do something about it, it will undermine you your whole life and you'll blame yourself.
Also, take up running. You're really good at it, and future you wishes she took it up when she was your age
Take that job in Nigeria do a few years and you should be set. Don't overthink it.
Be kind to yourself
I know what you're going through. Trust me it'll get worse. But afterwards it's good you didn't do it. It gets sooooo much better just a year or so after. You'll be happy just sit tight for a bitband do what you think is right.
- you're a worthless excuse for human being
- drop your college course rn, maths and physics are shit for nerds don't delve into it unless you really like it (you don't)
- get therapy (call your dad and lay out all the shit you that's been bugging you)
- after you have tried your best at p 3, get on psychotropic meds asap. figure it out on your own lol
- practice singing
This is your last chance to admit your feelings before you drift apart and you never talk to her again.
Also, be nicer to grandma and spend more time with her, you have far less time than you've convinced yourself you have.
"It's all just going to keep going."
“You’re right!”
She'll come, just wait a little longer.