Granted, but it’s a work retreat.
this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
41 points (100.0% liked)
The Monkey's Paw
607 readers
1 users here now
Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Your belly distends and you feel a horrible pain. Congratulations, it's a boy! Enjoy your two whole weeks of maternity leave. And don't worry about giving insufficient notice, your employer will just deduct it from your vacation time.
Oh god that's horrific. I love it. Immediate horror and oh god what have I done? Microwave regret available in 30 seconds or less.
Granted, but you're now a cop that's killed an unarmed black toddler
Dammit, Johnson! I told you to sprinkle some crack on it!
Granted, it's bereavement leave. 10 full work days. And your company only offers 2 days paid leave for each death and only for immediate family members. My condolences on your losses.
Granted, enjoy your two weeks in Gaza
Granted you broke your dick in half falling in the shower and have to use your vacation time to recover.
Granted, but the pay is minimum wage and stays that way when you come back.
Granted, it's called gardening leave, and in 2 weeks you will be unemployed. Enjoy searching for jobs on your vacation
Granted, it's a staycation since you've contracted COVID.
Granted. It’s a paid vacation, meaning you have to pay for it.
Granted. You get your paid two weeks, no strings attached. Your new job as a transmission tower climber has surprisingly decent benefits.
Granted. You get 2 weeks severance pay.