this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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Having kids. I love my kids, but if I could go back and not have them I absolutely would. Never have kids until you're financially comfortable. Fuck, the struggle is fucking real.
I really admire the honesty and bravery it took to write this comment. Thank you for sharing.
It is a sad reality that I hate even thinking about. I love these little bastards to pieces, but the money thing is killing me. I'm in a spot where I'm "too rich" to qualify for any government help and too poor to be able to afford it on my own.
My wife and I had a similar conversation the other day. The kids were being a handful, and she said, "Why do people even have kids?"
And I said it's because society lies to you. "You'll never feel emotionally/mentally/financially ready for kids. Just do it!"
I always tell people that you need to be 110% sure. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but I sure do miss the quiet, free time, and extra money.
And for most people that day never comes and THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE. It is horrifying that something as extreme as creating a human from nothing is seen as something that people should just do. Baffling.
That's basically the biggest lie/bullshit you can ever hear. You can always be ready for kids. I just need $75+k a year and I'll be more than happy.
I feel this. I still don't have kids of my own, but my parents had some rough patches which I hope I learn from and don't repeat; thankfully I only realised most of that when I grew up.
Much respect to your parents and you. Raising kids has been the most difficult thing I've done in my life, and I've been deployed into war zones twice.