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its official my partner is ace and aromantic
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this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2024
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Out of curiousity, did you feel particularly predisposed to having multiple partners before this situation came up?
I'm realising there's a big fear component for me in thinking about this- I quite like my life, or rather, how it appears to be shaping up. The idea of incorporating another person into my life feels like an intimidating set of variables.
She was poly and seeing a couple people, though very casually. So before she became far more ace she was already encouraging me. I was pretty stubborn about it, and did not feel pre-disposed to it. Eventually when things started heading the way it did, I started seeing someone, and she was very enthusiastic about it. The other partner started as casual and eventually got pretty serious. I now see both of them equally.
I 10000% understand thinking it is a frightening proposition, but it was more natural than I thought it would be. The most intimidating thing and biggest change up was learning to schedule time and dates with two women. They don't mind each other at all, but they don't really hang out unless at the same party, so keeping everything separate has been a fun journey to go through.
If your partner is encouraging it, maybe start looking a little for something casual. You don't have to jump in to something serious. Plenty of people are down to clown.
The arrangement you have sounds really nice. I appreciate the insight.
You're right. It's not like I'm going to wake up in a new unfamiliar life all of a sudden hey, it's just more.. growth, in life and as a person. Hm. Also flirting is fun. Things to think about.
It is pretty fun, and it's also fun to hop back in the pool and have fun. Honestly doing it has relieved a lot of pressure I was feeling about my partner and been generally very beneficial.
I'm sure things will work out comrade! It's a weird situation but it is not insurmountable!
Your situation sounds really mature and i hope for the best for you and your partners.
I had poly relationships before but they always seemed to end in heart break for someone within the entanglement eventually. So i try not to go down that road any more. People get jealous of time, availability, etc… it ended up being a tough thing to juggle forever.
But i also know people who have made it work for several years at a time. But eventually someone always decides to move on. Idk relationships are so complicated.
If it helps most "normal" relationships fall appart just like that. That's not the key factor for analysis in the poly setting. The best practice in the field is evaluating if everyone is having a good time. Which is complicated by the fact that the world sucks lately and most people are having a bad time anyway